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Motivation Mondays: EXPECTATIONS

15/05/2017

“Let your dreams outgrow the shoes of your expectations.” Ryunosuke Satoro

Motivation Mondays: EXPECTATIONS - Set goals and stay open to change

Motivation Mondays: EXPECTATIONS – Set goals and stay open to change

When you have expectations, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Ryan Reynolds
Don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself, and then do what is necessary to make it a reality. Ralph Marston

What does the word EXPECTATION mean to you? Having an expectation is not quite the same as having a clear goal. When we set realistic goals and maintain a flexible and open mind about the outcome, we soon learn that life is in constant flux and things can change in one direction or the other in a whim. To avoid being carried away by our expectations and coming away disappointed, a measure of open acceptance of the range of possible outcomes is key. For months, I had eyed an event that sounded so fantastic. To attend it would have required jumping through hoops, making changes to prior plans and at great cost to me. After agonizing over it, I decided to sit down and map out the pros and cons and then make a decisive decision based on facts not emotions.

In holding unto unrealistic expectations and fantasizing about the event, I had allowed my expectations to run away from reason. Sure, I could throw caution to the winds and go anyway… I’ve done my share of random acts of impulsive decision-making and while some have worked out, others were a total disaster. With all the facts in front of me, I knew it would not make sense to go and so I skipped it. Later on, a friend informed me that it didn’t live up to her trumped up expectations and she wished she had skipped it too. The real point of this is that I could have attended the event, if it were feasible, and if I maintained an open, receptive mind about the outcomes. We do the same thing with relationships, work, and even our creative effort. If we could focus on being present and work steadily to accomplish our goals, we would have less to feel bad or disappointed about. So give life and serendipity a chance… come back for the rest soon. What were you expecting?

A Story: Learning the Hard Way
The son of a master thief asked his father to teach him the secrets of the trade. The old thief agreed and that night took his son to burglarize a large house. While the family was asleep, he silently led his young apprentice into a room that contained a clothes closet. The father told his son to go into the closet to pick out some clothes. When he did, his father quickly shut the door and locked him in. Then he went back outside, knocked loudly on the front door, thereby waking the family, and quickly slipped away before anyone saw him. Hours later, his son returned home, bedraggled and exhausted. “Father,” he cried angrily, “Why did you lock me in that closet? If I hadn’t been made desperate by my fear of getting caught, I never would have escaped. It took all my ingenuity to get out!” The old thief smiled. “Son, you have had your first lesson in the art of burglary.”

 

The details for Motivation Mondays are below. Join in! The themes for March/April 2017 are:

 

APRIL

04/03 –    6 International Day of Sport, 7 World Health Day
04/10 –    9 Palm Sunday, 11 Start of Passover, 14 Good Friday
04/17 –    16 Easter,  22 Earth Day,
04/24 –    24 Remembrance Day

MAY

05/01  – May Day, World Lyme Day, 02 National Teacher Day, 03 World Press Freedom, 04 National Day of Prayer,
05 Cinco De Mayo, 06 Kentucky Derby
05/14 –  14 Mothers Day, 20 Armed Forces Day
05/21 –  22 International Biological Diversity, 24 National Brother Day, 25 Ascension, 27 Ramadan starts
05/28 – 29 Memorial Day, 31 World No Tobacco Day

 

 

Are You Looking for Ways to Stay Creative in 2017?

post-a-week-2017-md
– Join the Daily Post Post-a-day or Post-a-week Challenge.

BHWritingLab_052016_post_PROMPT1A

— Join the BlogHer Writing Lab

 

 

More Below!

“The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.” Confucius

Motivation Mondays: EXPECTATIONS - Set goals and stay open to change

Motivation Mondays: EXPECTATIONS – Set goals and stay open to change

If you align expectations with reality, you will never be disappointed. Terrell Owens
We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests. Sheryl Sandberg

 

What can we do to keep our expectations in check? Focus on the work at hand and make sure that goals are based on realistic principles and outcomes. This is not about not dreaming big. We can dream big while keeping our feet solidly on the ground. I recently read an article by Ayana Mathis who shared how her life changed after Oprah selected her novel – The Twelve Tribes of Hattie – as a book of the month, and how she suddenly became a celebrity with interviews, top reviews and sales to match. She wrote the book without those intentions. Sure, she wanted her book to sell and do well but she held no expectations about its success. The outcome turned out to be huge and she was delighted to ride that wave. Her effort at writing the book was her commitment to her creative output. Her goal was to finish it and get it published. The rest with Oprah was an unexpected icing on the cake. We could all use some of those special gifts.

The same can be said for childbirth. For years, a dear friend had challenges with conceiving and tried everything. With each disappointing result, she became despondent. One day, one of her doctors advised her to let her expectations go and make peace with the process. It took some time but, eventually,  she tempered her anxiety and wasn’t so overcome by the test results; she even decided to take a break from trying. One year later, she found herself pregnant and soon had a baby… there is something to be said for letting go of expectations  and going with the flow. When we allow expected outcomes to overrule realistic effort, we are setting ourselves up for failure. It is the old counting our chickens before the eggs are hatched syndrome, and the road to disappointment is littered with the carcasses of expectations that went awry. What are you expecting?

A Story: What Are You Expecting to See
Once there was an old man who lived at the top of a very high and dangerous precipice. Every morning he would sit at the edge of the cliff and view the surrounding mountains and forest. One day, after he set himself down for his usual meditation, he noticed something shiny at the very bottom of the precipice. Now even though it was very far below him, the old man had keen eyes and could just barely make out what it was. It looked like a rather large, black chest with gold trimmings – just sitting there atop a rock. “Where did it come from? What could be inside it?” the old man thought to himself…

Zen Stories from Users.rider.edu

Have a Happy, Healthy 2017!

 

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Positive Motivation Tip: Be free from expectations and focus on the goal by being present every day in every way.

Motivation Mondays is open to anyone who wishes to share a motivational quote, photo, personal challenge or a post that encourages others to start the week on an upbeat note.
Basic Instructions: Each week, I will have a motivation word to help us create a response. (See listed words for the months above/below)
Email address: You may email or share your post as a comment and I will add it to the round-up of related posts. email it to: contact(@)mirthandmotivation(.)com
Category tag: – Share your post using Motivation Mondays
Twitter hashtag: – Use this on Twitter #MotvnM
Dedicated Page: There is a dedicated page for Motivation Mondays. It has the same instructions and will include other helpful tools and a link to the round-up
Facebook Page: MotivationOnMondays Join our page and add your post and/or any motivational piece you think will be helpful to others.
Facebook Community: We have a Facebook community forum to compliment the page. It serves as another way to share uplifting posts and thoughts. Please join in and add your voice.

Badge: – I created a fun badge using PicMonkey’s free photo editing tools. You can create your own, use WordPress’ integrated tool on your blog or you are welcome to use mine. (see dedicated page)
Tag: – Motivation Mondays
Hashtag: – #MotvnM
Related Posts

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos via Wikipedia  and/or  Expectations via Pixabay

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. 18/05/2017 2:28 am

    Wonderful post with some great advice. Loved the master thief’s training method particularly 🙂 Hope all is well with you Eliz.

    Like

  2. Pooja Kawatra Gupta permalink
    18/05/2017 6:56 am

    Expectation is quite a tricky thought as most of the time it leads to disappointment and the entire efforts goes wasted but instead just keep doing the stuff.

    Like

  3. The Trophy WifeStyle permalink
    18/05/2017 8:56 am

    I swear having expectations in other people leads to failure. People never Life up to the hype. Only person you should expect anything from is yourself

    Like

  4. Rahul Khurana permalink
    18/05/2017 9:45 am

    It’s true that expectations are the main reason of our disappointments, whether be it in relations or with ourselves too. We tend to fantasise about things that are not real. The key to happiness is to not expect but just deliver. 🙂

    Like

  5. Garf permalink
    18/05/2017 10:10 am

    I try to expect less from people so I don’t get disappointed a lot. I am doing that because I easily get disappointed if my expectations did not meet.

    Like

  6. Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen permalink
    18/05/2017 12:40 pm

    When it comes to expectations, I only set it at medium/realistic ones because I don’t wanna be disappointed. I found out that it’s much effective that way.

    Like

  7. amyandtots permalink
    18/05/2017 1:32 pm

    I too have had my fair share of random impulsive moments. I agree with that when you’re trying to get pregnant you become consumed with test results and symptoms.

    Like

  8. dreamingloud permalink
    22/05/2017 8:20 am

    Wonderful post as always. Loved the Master thief story. I am learning to have more realistic expectations in life. I have had my share of disappointment from myself and others with expectations but it all a learning experience we all must go through

    Like

  9. famousashleygrant permalink
    22/05/2017 1:06 pm

    I used to believe “no expectations, no disappointments.” Now that I’m older, I see that the real problem I encountered most of my life was unrealistic expectations. This post was a fabulous reminder to be realistic, yet still have expectations because without them, we don’t always know if the outcome was a success or not.

    Like

  10. Salwa Kisswani (@SalwaKisswani) permalink
    22/05/2017 7:27 pm

    thank you for this awesome post. I love motivation Mondays it’s just very motivating and inspiring

    Like

  11. Lillian permalink
    26/05/2017 8:22 am

    I often think I’ve let go of expectations only to discover I’ve exchanged positive expectations for negative ones. I like your final motivation tip.

    Like

  12. Tiffany Yong permalink
    27/05/2017 11:47 pm

    That story about the burglar/ son reminds me of the law of attraction and how you have to really want something to get something!

    Like

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