November 17

Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness

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“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness - The Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt (1668) at Hermitage Museum
Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness – The Return of the Prodigal Son by Rembrandt (1668) at Hermitage Museum

Motivational Minute #44 – Forgiveness by Nick Vujicic

Why Forgiveness? Because forgiveness helps us move forward with our lives. It begins in the heart. It begins with us. Every time I meet or see someone holding grudges over some old slight or an egregious act, I am tempted to remind them that the poison will kill them first before it gets to the other person who might have long forgotten the slight and moved on. When we forgive, it is not only an act of goodwill and humility, it is an act of self-healing. Imagine living life as an internet troll, spewing venom on a regular basis or being mean-spirited to complete strangers. What does that say about the troll? What does holding a grudge say about you?

We are all capable of good and evil, but what separates us from crossing completely over to the side of evil, is our ability to love and forgive. That person who caused you harm has died or moved on; that friend who betrayed your trust has long gone; that parent or attacker who hurt you deeply is in greater pain than you can imagine. When we are content with our lot and at peace with our place in the world, our natural instinct is to help not hurt. Motivate yourself today to let go of petty resentments and start afresh. I know you can do it. When do you plan to forgive that person and move on? Today is as good a day as any other.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi

Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness - Holi Festival of Colors & Day of Forgiveness
Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness – Holi Festival of Colors & Day of Forgiveness

Some people like to quibble over nonsense. They lock themselves in a mental trap of he said/she said. They stay there and let their lives and minds stagnate because they want to be RIGHT. As Gandhiji says above, forgiveness is the terrain of the strong. There is no satisfaction in wishing others evil or holding on to old hurts. Yes, spend some time and grieve if you must. Get some healing help. Speak to the one who hurt you to resolve issues if feasible, then motivate yourself to move on with your life. When I was a child, I had a good friend at boarding school. She was a difficult girl, with a great sense of humor, who enjoyed debates and we got along quite well. One day, we had a spat over something that, for the life of me, I can’t remember. It created a rift in our friendship and we stopped speaking to each other.

I was pained by the split, but being a silly, stubborn child, I held onto my sense of rightness and so did she. We were at an impasse, and nothing our mutual friends said made much of a difference. Well, one weekend, she went home to visit her family and had a wonderful time. On Sunday, they were driving her back to school so she could get ready for the school week ahead. The family car crossed a barrier and slammed head-on into a truckload of farm animals. Their car overturned and everyone perished. I never had a chance to make up and resolve my tiff with my friend. It broke my heart and taught me a life long lesson. Life is ephemeral. Drop the rubbish, make amends with broken relationships/friendships, and heal yourself. Even if you wish to no longer associate with that person, at least, forgive yourself, forgive them, be civil and move on. Do you have a similar story around forgiveness?

The details for Motivation Mondays are below. Join in! The themes for November/December are:

11/24 – Gratitude

12/01 – Acceptance

11/08 – Busyness

12/15  – Compassion

12/22 –  Joy

12/29 –  Regret

More below!

“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Desmond Tutu

Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness -  Determinant Factors of Forgiveness
Motivation Mondays: Forgiveness – Determinant Factors of Forgiveness

When the Apartheid regime was abolished in South Africa, many believed there would be a blood bath, and the oppressed would finally take revenge against their former oppressors. As a matter of fact, it was a point of great debate in college and many braced for the bloodshed that was expected to follow. It didn’t happen. Instead, Desmond Tutu and other peace advocates, chosen by the interim government, created the Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC), which gave everyone an opportunity to step forward and confess the atrocities they committed during the regime.

The goal was to create a doorway to restorative justice for both the victims and the offenders, “to repair the harm they’ve done—by apologizing, returning stolen money, or community service,” and give everyone a chance to forgive and heal. It was a national effort and, while it had some flaws, it was a great success and helped that wounded nation transition to a full democratic process. Each of us has the capacity to forgive. It takes individual commitment, motivation, and action. It takes love, compassion for your fellow-man, and a desire to be at peace with yourself and the world. Are you ready to forgive someone today? You will be the richer for it.

Motivation Mondays is open to anyone who wishes to share a motivational quote, photo, personal challenge or a post that encourages others to start the week on an upbeat note.

Basic Instructions: Each week, I will have a motivation word to help us create a response. (See listed words for end of November and all of December below)
Email address: You may email or share your post as a comment and I will add it to the round-up of related posts. email it to: contact(@)mirthandmotivation(.)com
Category tag: – Share your post using Motivation Mondays
Twitter hashtag: – Use this on Twitter #MotvnM
Dedicated Page: There is a dedicated page for Motivation Mondays. It has the same instructions and will include other helpful tools and a link to the round-up
Facebook Page: MotivationOnMondays Join our page and add your post and/or any motivational piece you think will be helpful to others.
Facebook Community: We have a Facebook community forum to compliment the page. It serves as another way to share uplifting posts and thoughts. Please join in and add your voice.

Badge: – I created a fun badge using PicMonkey’s free photo editing tools. You can create your own, use WordPress’ integrated tool on your blog or you are welcome to use mine. (see dedicated page)
Tag: – Motivation Mondays
Hashtag: – #MotvnM

Positive Motivation Tip:  Forgiveness begins in the heart. It begins with us. Go there and release the pain.

Related Posts

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos: Holi Festival, Graphic on Forgiveness, The Return of the Prodigal Son, via Wikipedia

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet


Tags

#MotvnM, forgiveness, inspiration, Motivation, Motivation Mondays, photography, postaday, reflections


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  • I find that being forgetful helps me to forgive easily.. most of the time I sleep off something that makes me feel angry or aggrieved about, wake up and don’t remember much of that anger anymore. And as time passes, I would forget about the whole thing 🙂 However, it can get dangerous because I tend to be easily taken advantage of… I get reminded of how I was angry again whenever I’m asked to be forgiven, and the cycle continues…

  • Very interesting to see a festival from India – Holi appear here on topic of forgiveness, indeed one of the joy cries during Holi is ” Bura Na Mano Holi Hai” meaning please don’t feel bad it is Holi time 🙂

    • Thank you Desi for shedding more light on the subject of Holi. I have attended celebrations and they were always joyful. However, the forgiveness part seemed more of a casual afterthought. I love the connection though, it makes perfect sense. 🙂

  • Not being able to forgive is like carrying a heavy load. We should learn to forgive so we won’t be troubled by grudges.

  • Forgiveness is a hard thing for many people to have. I have seen it completely tear people apart. Myself included. I quickly learned if I want to be completely happy in life, I had to let go and to forgive.

  • Forgiveness is important. Its always the person holding onto all that who suffers.

  • Thanks for this post, Elizabeth, and for the great quote by Martin Luther King, Jr. He says: “He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” I think this is very true.

  • This is so true. The power of being able to forgive is truly incredible. Thanks for sharing this wonderful message!

  • Another of your inspiring post. God commanded us to Love our neighbors. How can we love them if we harbor grudges against them. So forgiveness is that important to show that we love our neighbors even our enemies.

  • It is easy to forgive if the other party is sorry. But if they won’t admit fault, it is up to us to decide to forgive in order to save us the stress of anger. – Fred

  • Find this article very inspiring and motivating to myself and others too. Well, forgiveness sometimes takes my inner self to respond differently when I’m hurt. But consequently, I knew that it’s on my genes to easily forgive and forget.

  • I’m stuck with forgiveness. 🙂 I do realize forgiveness is a choice and a gift. You can choose to be angry and hateful all the time, but you’ll also limit yourself to angst and unhealthy emotions. It’s your gift both to the person you forgave and yourself.

  • I’ve found it very difficult to forgive because I can truly never forget. I think I need to learn to work on my forgiving skills. It’s the only way I can find true and lasting peace with myself.

  • The whole post has helped me of course but your words below have really helped me figure out how to move on – thanks so much Elizabeth.
    “Even if you wish to no longer associate with that person, at least, forgive yourself, forgive them, be civil and move on.”

  • Forgiveness really is a hard one!!! I tend to unfortunately hold grudges longer than I should…. I need to fix that flaw of mine…. I need to forgive and move on 😉

  • Forgiveness is not always the easiest thing but I find that life is so much better when you learn to forgive.

  • I believe that forgiveness is a process. We cannot forgive people just because everyone says so. We have to sincerely forgive someone at the right time to get a genuine peace of mind because if we say we forgive the person yet it’s not really what we feel, it won’t be healthy for both parties.

  • Good post. Forgiveness is important in order for you to move on and heal.

  • Forgiveness is so important. It’s so hard sometimes, though.

  • Forgiveness — sometimes it’s easier said than done but it’s always a relief when we forgive. Carrying something inside is heavier than actually carrying loads of baggage.

  • It is not easy to forgive and forget and one needs great inner strength to forgive those who have erred. But once we do it, we feel good from within. Thanks for sharing such a lovely article 🙂

  • We can all do with a dose of forgiveness now and then; even if we give it to ourselves. Very important and helps us heal.

  • This is a great reminder. It does take a strong person to forgive over and over again. I definitely could be better at forgiving. I’m realizing there are a lot of things that have bothered me other the years that if I dig deep I’m still holding some resentment over.. even though I tried to make light of the situation.

  • Forgiveness is such an important thing to learn in life and can be so hard to do. I think I’m too forgiving sometimes and people can really take advantage of that.

  • Truely Holi the day the forgiveness, when colors and happiness with loud tinch of Indian songs is in the air… truely a day to be waited whole year…

  • Holi is truely the day of forgiveness, when colors and happiness is in air with loud tinch of Indian songs… truely a day waited for whole year.. most welcome to celebrate with us…

  • Thank you for this amazing post Elizabeth, it has come at the right time for me and though I try not to hold sometimes I fall short but I have also learnt to forgive myself when I do so I can forgive anyone whose wronged me. I have chosen the path of happiness and thats were I am staying.

  • So true, forgiveness helps in self healing! By forgiving you only help your own self! It takes a load off your heart and some times later you realise that it was the best choice you ever made!

  • Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes it can be hard to let go and forgive but at the end of the day you have to do it for your own sanity.

  • I used to hold grudges, but it was eating me alive. When I finally released it and forgave, I felt like I was practically floating and free.

  • I agree with Michele D.’s comment wholeheartedly! It is so important to the healing process within.

  • This is a great reminder to all of us. I know Forgiveness is tough for most people to do. Easy said than done, but with our strong love and faith in God, it can be done. I know sometimes it is hard for me to do that, but I always remind myself to never hold that hatred in your heart. It is never a great thing when you have that feeling inside you. Thanks for sharing. This is wonderful.

  • Forgiveness is something all should do which many don’t I think the forgiving process is also a heating process. It’s something just to do for a better life.

  • What an inspiration post. It is not easy to give forgiveness to other people who already heart our feelings.

  • Different acts require different levels and timetable of forgiveness. Still if you don’t start on the journey, it’s you who are stuck.

  • Forgiveness is something easier said that done. Same for letting go… But it is possible over time. As long as you work hard to improve yourself and love yourself rather than harping over the lost love…

  • Very touching and motivating post. I agree: you must be strong to forgive and forget.

  • I wouldn’t necessarily say it’s hard for me to forgive. People say I hold grudges, but it’s not true at all. I just remember what was done in the past and not allow it to happen again! Love your motivation!

  • It is very important to forgive. If you carry around anger it will eat away at you.

  • Some great food for thought here. Forgiveness is a very strong and powerful thing to take away and to give. I have struggled with forgiveness a few times in my life, but ultimately give my fear to God and he provides the way..

  • It takes a certain kind of person to truly forgive and I feel like it’s the only way you can truly be free from something.

  • I love the Motivation mondays idea and will try to join it. People around me always say that i can be a big motivator and I’m always surprised as I think I just said something which helps me usually in the same situation.

  • Great post! Forgiveness is so important… more for the person giving it than the one receiving it!

  • My mom always says that if you don’t forgive you just chain yourself to the person who hurt you and give them more power over you. To be free, you need to forgive. It’s a hard lesson to learn but it’s worth the pain.

  • The Holi festival is my favorite Indian festival because of the explosion of colors during the festivities. However, its concept is even more important, celebrating the day of Forgiveness.

  • Great post! In our church we talk about soul ties. When you refuse to forgive someone, you are holding on to that soul tie and they are holding you back from experiencing the Spirit in your life. To really open yourself up for good things, you have to let go of those bad soul ties and forgiveness is one of the first steps. I’ve had some people do some pretty bad things to me and to forgive them does not mean that it’s ok for them to have done that, but it means I am not going to let it take hold of my life anymore. Thanks for sharing.

  • I have never heard of this Martin Luther King, Jr. quote before, but how true it is! Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do, but it is so liberating once it’s truly done.

    HilLesha

  • I had no idea that Holi was a celebration of forgiveness! I’d love to see it in person.

  • This is so great, I always forgive. I don’t hang onto grudges and I have no regrets in life. I feel that allows me to be a happier, whole person.

  • You would always forgive but doing so doesn’t mean you have to forget. The negative energy will eat you a live if you don’t let go and forgive. Thanks for sharing.

  • Forgiveness is not easy for everybody. It is easy for me to forgive but my trust is not. Life is too short that hatred is not important.

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