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Motivation Mondays: REGRETS

29/12/2014

“Never regret anything you have done with a sincere affection; nothing is lost that is born of the heart.” Basil Rathbone

Motivation Mondays: Let Go Of REGRETS

Motivation Mondays: Let Go Of REGRETS (Maud Muller painting, based on a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier)

Maud Muller, based on a poem by John Greenleaf Whittier

Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh. Henry David Thoreau

Let Go Of REGRETS:  We’ve all heard of buyer’s remorse, and survival guilt; they are emotions that people exhibit when they wish for a different outcome. Then there are people who have dissocial personality disorders; they lack feelings of regret. The fact is that at different points in our lives, we’ve had occasion to regret our actions, feel sadness, shame, embarrassment, depression, annoyance, or guilt, about events in our lives that we either initiated or had no control over the outcomes. We regret our past actions as well as our inaction, but we must learn to motivate ourselves to let go of regrets. We don’t have to forget the events or dismiss them, however, we must give ourselves permission to accept the lessons learned and let the past go. Before we can start afresh, we should spend some time reviewing the events that hold us back and then let them go.

A Regrettable Story: A few years ago, an acquaintance reached out to me at a time of great despair in her life. I offered her my help and support, and even let her into my home to stay for a while. Months later, when she finally pulled herself together, she left with some of my possessions – she stole from me. While I might be tempted to regret my act of kindness, I don’t. I regret believing in her story but I’ve moved on with the lesson learned. Events that lead us to have feelings of regret are great teachers because they teach us, through experience and pain, to weigh our decisions with care and recognize the potential consequences of our actions. Frankly, I agree with Yoko Ono that the only regret worth having is “The regret of my life is that I have not said ‘I love you’ often enough.” But guess what? While we have life and breath, we can change that regret to joy…. It takes motivation and effort.

 

“Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.” Swami Sivananda

Motivation Mondays: REGRETS - Resolve to let go of childhood hurts and move on

Motivation Mondays: REGRETS – Resolve to let go of childhood hurts and move on

Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret. Robert E. Lee

Resolve to Move Forward: Are you still holding unto childhood anger, pain, and regrets? Sometimes, we act impulsively and then regret the reverberations of our actions. In our youth, we all made mistakes, some small and some large, that still haunt some of us today. If we can view them through the lens of life lessons, we would be in a better position to resolve to move forward. Being human means we are all capable of making mistakes. If we keep repeating the same errors, we haven’t learned the lessons fully. So instead of wallowing in self-pity and disappointment, resolve to change direction and try a new approach. We have to remember that to err is human and to forgive is divine. As we wrap up 2014 and ready ourselves for 2015, this is a great time to review past events, make mental adjustments on things that didn’t work out, celebrate the successes and step into 2015 with zeal and gratitude.

A No Regrets Story: When Margery was in college, she had a friend, Java, who was very selfish and could be quite rude. Margery didn’t see this side of Java until they became very good friends and started hanging out together. Whenever Java was in a bind or needed help or money, she’d ask for help and Margery obliged. Margery grew to accept Java’s brashness even though it bothered her. She always hesitated to ask Java for anything because she wanted the friendship to work (a red flag) When Margery advised Java to be civil to people, Java simply brushed it off and said they deserved it. One day, Margery needed help with an internship letter that had to be mailed by 2:00pm. She had an important conference with her adviser that couldn’t be missed. She asked Java to help drop off the letter to the mail room and Java bluntly refused to do it. She gave no reason and didn’t flinch when Margery pointed out how much of a good friend she was to Java. Java simply said no. That day, the veil lifted from Margery’s eyes as she came to realize that she wasn’t viewed as a valued friend to Java. She  was hurt but resolved to end the friendship and move on. She ended it calmly and decisively with no room left for regrets.

At times in our lives, we must resolve to move on because it’s a key way to break the chain of regret and start afresh. Try it. We all make decisions we regret and we must forgive ourselves, take action, and move forward. As Queen Latifah put it, “I made decisions that I regret, and I took them as learning experiences… I’m human, not perfect, like anybody else.” Get motivated to shift directions and start the New Year with a resolution to let go of past hurts and begin with a tabula rasa – a clean slate.

What regrets have you chosen to let go today?

The details for Motivation Mondays are below. Join in! The themes for December are:
12/01 – Acceptance
12/08 – Busyness
12/15 – Compassion
12/22 – Joy
12/29 – Regret

More Below!
“Has this world been so kind to you that you should leave with regret? There are better things ahead than any we leave behind.” C. S. Lewis

Motivation Mondays: REGRETS - Remember the LOVE and Gain some Perspective (The Love Letter by  Federico_Andreotti)

Motivation Mondays: REGRETS – Remember the LOVE and Gain some Perspective (The Love Letter by Federico_Andreotti)

At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent. Barbara Bush

Gain some Perspective: Are you still holding unto the pain while forgetting the love? If we would stop for a moment and take a hard look at things we’ve regretted in our lifetime, we might be surprised to come to a simple conclusion: We survived it. WE made it through and we still have opportunities in front of us to grow and thrive. So why stagnate? Why hold onto old stories that leave us bitter and sad? At some point, we must gain perspective and learn to let it be. Think back to events that caused you great pain and the lessons you learned from the experience. You were able to use the knowledge gained to make different, hopefully, more productive and successful choices. What helped you make that shift? Would you agree that it took some pain and discipline to overcome the feelings of regret and replace them with wisdom and better insight?

A Regret Replaced with Love Story: When my dad passed away, I was very sad that I didn’t get a chance to see him for one last time. He had asked me to come to London to hang out with him and catch up on family matters. It was spring time and not only was I teaching at a local college, but I was in the throes of final exams. I begged off giving the reasons mentioned above. I also added that I was waiting for an answer to my application for a work permit. Weeks later, my dad was dead. I cried over this for years and it left a hollow space in my heart.

One day, I decided that with some discipline and a recognition that life is full of regrets and rejoices, I would make peace with that moment in my life. I knew he loved me and he knew I loved him; the regret over what could have been, needed to be replaced with memories of a loving man who had been a vital force in my life. Hold unto the LOVE. As one of my favorite inspirational business leader, Jim Rohn would say,We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment. I gained some perspective and I know you can too. As you prepare to wrap up this year and enter the next, take stock and face the fear, and gain some perspective. Happy Holidays! Happy New Year!

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Motivation Mondays is open to anyone who wishes to share a motivational quote, photo, personal challenge or a post that encourages others to start the week on an upbeat note.

Basic Instructions: Each week, I will have a motivation word to help us create a response. (See listed words for end of November and all of December below)
Email address: You may email or share your post as a comment and I will add it to the round-up of related posts. email it to: contact(@)mirthandmotivation(.)com
Category tag: – Share your post using Motivation Mondays
Twitter hashtag: – Use this on Twitter #MotvnM
Dedicated Page: There is a dedicated page for Motivation Mondays. It has the same instructions and will include other helpful tools and a link to the round-up
Facebook Page: MotivationOnMondays Join our page and add your post and/or any motivational piece you think will be helpful to others.
Facebook Community: We have a Facebook community forum to compliment the page. It serves as another way to share uplifting posts and thoughts. Please join in and add your voice.

Badge: – I created a fun badge using PicMonkey’s free photo editing tools. You can create your own, use WordPress’ integrated tool on your blog or you are welcome to use mine. (see dedicated page)
Tag: – Motivation Mondays
Hashtag: – #MotvnM

Positive Motivation Tip: Compassion is not just our gift to others, it is also our gift to ourselves. Be kind to yourself and others today and everyday.

Related Posts

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos:  Sad Maud Muller Brown, Annoyed child, The love letter, via Wikipedia

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

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119 Comments leave one →
  1. Sydney permalink
    29/12/2014 11:43 am

    What a great reminder! Thank you for sharing.

    Like

  2. Ace Paragoyo permalink
    29/12/2014 1:02 pm

    We should be positive everyday, remove negative vibes and forget the past as your experienced and lead to the future.

    Like

  3. Megs permalink
    29/12/2014 1:08 pm

    Your post has me reflecting on life. I am taking the information and I am going to try to move forward. I like the part about using your past experience to gain knowledge and not to live in the past but use at as you grown and change.

    Like

  4. 29/12/2014 1:19 pm

    This is such a motivational post! I really enjoyed reading it, the quotes are spot on and really brightened my day.

    Like

  5. Lee Ros permalink
    29/12/2014 2:30 pm

    I just don’t get people like this. you helped them, and then this is your reward? they will get things from the person who was very helpful to them at the time they needed someone. shameless people!

    Like

  6. Masshole Mommy permalink
    29/12/2014 2:51 pm

    I have a few regrets, but I like to think I learned from my mistakes. Live and learn, right?

    Like

  7. Jeanine permalink
    29/12/2014 3:02 pm

    Great post! I try to avoid regret when I can! But sometimes its hard, but move on up from it all! I had plans that didn’t happen, so now I move on up and do bigger and better things!

    Like

  8. The Trophy WifeStyle permalink
    29/12/2014 3:05 pm

    Yes!!! Love this! I never regret things… Even the bad things that happen in life make us who we are today and teach us so much in the long run 🙂

    Like

  9. Fred permalink
    29/12/2014 3:11 pm

    What a painfully personal story you shared about your dad’s death. That is a kind of regret that is so difficult to get over. We just have to think of good times together and talk to them always by spirit.

    Like

  10. Liz Mays permalink
    29/12/2014 3:18 pm

    I definitely have some regrets I refuse to let go. It’s been too long though! It’s time to move on!

    Like

  11. clairemoments permalink
    29/12/2014 3:41 pm

    Thank you for the motivation post. It’s a good one to encourage us to make best use of our time on a Monday!

    Like

  12. Ben Butler permalink
    29/12/2014 3:46 pm

    I love this post, and it’s so true. Regrets only hold you back.

    Like

  13. 29/12/2014 3:46 pm

    LOVE THIS POST but I disagree with the quote ” Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh. ” It is too general. I will look again when I wake up ! Hugs, Kathryn

    Like

  14. 29/12/2014 5:28 pm

    Though pain and regrets are sad realities of our human lives, after surviving one pain after the other, most of us come out as stronger, more able, and better persons. I say most of us because there are folks who use these painful moments to throw their lives away. I’ve seen it happen.

    Like what you said, what’s important is we take with us the life lessons that we learned from these kinds of situations. It takes a lot of heart and courage to do that. You have my respect Elizabeth because you have such a loving heart.

    Like

  15. 29/12/2014 5:46 pm

    Sometimes it’s really easy to say that we should let go of things and just move forward. However, this also takes a lot of courage, patience and encouragement to make adjustments and focus on the success.

    Like

  16. 29/12/2014 6:10 pm

    I needed this!

    Like

  17. 29/12/2014 6:18 pm

    There are so many wise lessons in this post. I have certainly learned from my mistakes and know that I will continue to do so until I am gone from this earth.

    Like

  18. Rebecca Swenor permalink
    29/12/2014 6:19 pm

    I love motivation Monday. It is so important to not have regrets because regrets can cause so many bad things for yourself. It truly is best to let go and just learn from the experiences. Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  19. 29/12/2014 6:28 pm

    Nice quotes with the motivation words… It’s really inspiring for a great monday!~

    Like

  20. Hina Naz permalink
    29/12/2014 6:41 pm

    I am highlt motivated to read this. this happens with me usual. As i done something with true affection but outcomes will never come as i wants, so usually i regret .:/ I have to suffer with pain of regret.

    Like

  21. rochkirstin permalink
    29/12/2014 7:19 pm

    Thanks for the very inspirational message. I am also a follower of Jim Rohn and I’m just reminded that it’s okay to feel pain of discipline and disappointment. Hope to learn our lessons out of them after deep contemplation.

    Like

  22. 29/12/2014 7:23 pm

    Such a powerful post! A beautiful gentle reminder to let go of regrets before we step into the new fresh promising new days of 2015. Happy New Year! 🙂

    Like

  23. maggiesblog2 permalink
    29/12/2014 7:47 pm

    I try to live with no regrets. If I do find myself regretting something, I try to think of a life lesson I learned and focus on that.

    Like

  24. Holli Ann permalink
    29/12/2014 7:51 pm

    What a great post – I really believe that we should let go of the negativity in our past in order to move on to the future.

    Like

  25. papaleng007 permalink
    29/12/2014 8:08 pm

    Another inspiring post you have here. And I regret not following each posts of yours. ha,ha,ha..just kidding. But on the bright note, regret is just an obstacle one has to conquer to achieve success. Why should regret haunts you when you have the right tools to seek great heights. You only need to learned from past mistakes and embrace today with hope.

    Like

  26. Skinny b permalink
    29/12/2014 8:28 pm

    life is too short to live in regrets. I say get it together and move on

    Like

  27. 29/12/2014 8:37 pm

    There are so many things to thank for and many things to regret too! Lesson learned from the past, “DON’t take things for granted”. Learn to say THANKS and learn to mean it.

    Like

  28. Angelo The Explorer permalink
    29/12/2014 9:55 pm

    Regrets is what holding people back to move forward and I myself was once like this before. The only way to solve it is to move forward and prepare ourselves to more challenges that will make us grow. Happy New year!

    Like

  29. 30/12/2014 12:54 am

    This is such a great perspective on regret, and I especially enjoyed the first story. I think regret can teach you a lot of things, especially when you take the time to look back, reflect, and learn from it.

    Like

  30. 30/12/2014 1:14 am

    I love the purpose ,sentiment and mission of this blog. Some things applicable to all of us and some not but just Bravo ! I wish I had found it sooner. Maybe you will run it again!
    Happy New year!

    Like

  31. 30/12/2014 2:28 am

    Can’t let this season pass without wishing you a very happy 2015 and thanking you for all your support this year. It is more cheering than you know

    Like

  32. 30/12/2014 5:39 am

    I believe in learning from regrets but then moving on. Like you quoted Yoko as saying — there’s still time to change how you interact with others and how you treat yourself as well!

    Like

  33. mrenkema79 permalink
    30/12/2014 6:13 am

    I don’t have many regrets right now. Living with a 50% chance of developing a terrible brain disease makes me live each day to the fullest!!

    Like

  34. crysta911 permalink
    30/12/2014 6:13 am

    Beautiful! Our last church service was all about this.

    Like

  35. iaminlander permalink
    30/12/2014 6:46 am

    I agree with you. We need to let go of regrets. This post is just perfect for 2015 is just hours away and we just need to let go of regrets to have an awesome 2015.

    Like

  36. Jamie permalink
    30/12/2014 7:27 am

    Now you have me singing that “Let It Go” Frozen song!! ha/ha Great tips.

    Like

  37. Scott permalink
    30/12/2014 7:36 am

    You can’t change the past, so don’t waste any time worrying about it.

    Like

  38. Songbirds & Buttons (@KendallRayburn) permalink
    30/12/2014 7:58 am

    Love all of the quotes that you included in this post. So inspiring!

    Like

  39. 30/12/2014 8:56 am

    i do make mistakes and regret about it. i try to learnt from it and move on. go forward and think positive

    Like

  40. 30/12/2014 10:44 am

    Cliche as it may sound, but I have no regrets nor have I regretted anything that I’ve done because I believe I wouldn’t be where I am now if not for the decisions that I made. And those decisions made me a stronger person.

    Like

  41. Tiffany Washko permalink
    30/12/2014 11:24 am

    Great quotes! Very inspirational

    Like

  42. Fi Ní Neachtáin permalink
    30/12/2014 11:28 am

    I wish it was easy for me to move on from regret but it just simply isn’t. I think they’ll haunt me til I die.

    Like

  43. 30/12/2014 11:34 am

    I hope that this year will be a beautiful one and I live with no regrets. Thanks for the reminders!

    Like

  44. Mrs. Jilly Fisher permalink
    30/12/2014 2:04 pm

    That little boy does not look thrilled that his picture was being taken. lol

    Like

  45. Lisa Rios permalink
    30/12/2014 7:42 pm

    Motivation Monday sounds awesome! I really love this post & I am sure this is going to inspire many around us! Thanks for sharing.

    Like

  46. 31/12/2014 12:55 am

    I do have a few regrets in life but have chosen to move forward too. I’m sorry to hear about your friend and dad. Holding on to the love sounds like a great perspective. Thanks for the motivational post, Happy New Year!

    Like

  47. 31/12/2014 3:13 am

    It’s so important to let go of regrets. Using them as a learning experience and growing from them allows you to turn it into something positive.

    Like

  48. 31/12/2014 3:44 am

    I’ve made a lot of mistakes during my high school and during college, I regretted them. But after college, looking back at those mistakes, I don’t regret them as much as before because I understood how to deal with my mistakes. I learned how to accept things and look at a brighter perspective. As they say, it’s better to regret something at least you’ve tried and saw the result than didn’t try it at all and live forever with the “what ifs”

    Like

  49. katrinagehman permalink
    01/01/2015 5:49 pm

    great advice. it’s so true about trying not to dwell on the past mistakes.

    Like

  50. Mare P. permalink
    01/01/2015 10:05 pm

    I’m trying to be more careful of my actions so I don’t or hopefully won’t regret it.

    Like

  51. Sande permalink
    02/01/2015 11:37 am

    Being so busy trying to make ends meet I sometimes do not have time for the most important people. Big regret I hope to move beyond, soon.

    Like

  52. 03/01/2015 7:27 pm

    This is a beautiful post and it has such great advice along with your own personal example! Love love love it!

    Like

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