Skip to content

Motivation Mondays: ANGER


“Anger is like a storm rising up from the bottom of your consciousness. When you feel it coming, turn your focus to your breath.” Thich Nhat Hanh

Motivation Mondays: ANGER - Let it go!

Motivation Mondays: ANGER – Let it go!

Motivation Mondays: ANGER - Let it go!

Motivation Mondays: ANGER – Let it go!

My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world. Jack Layton
Anger ventilated often hurries towards forgiveness; anger concealed often hardens into revenge. Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
It is wise to direct your anger towards problems – not people; to focus your energies on answers – not excuses. William Arthur Ward

What triggers your Anger?  How do you contain it?  Anger is a very powerful emotion and it can be used in both constructive and destructive ways. When we take time to reflect on our anger triggers,  it becomes clear that our anger is a response to an old memory of an unresolved issue that needs to be addressed and dissolved.  Usually, the underlying cause of our anger is probably something else that is begging to be addressed.  So, address it, as soon as possible and move on. Don’t let your anger stifle other areas of your life. Sure, there are things that annoy us but, see them for what they are – temporary distractions – then move on. If there are things that linger, surrender them to a higher power and trust that eventually they will dissipate. There is much in the world to make many of us furious on a daily basis, but we can counter it by choosing to take actions that lead to change, that invoke our higher calling and that focuses on the good in humanity. Sometimes, we hold onto anger because we are afraid to discuss it with the other person because we think it will lead to another confrontation.  This is where timeout and reflection can be our best guide. With some distance from  the issue, we can think it through and then follow up in a calm and rational manner; a bit of diplomacy helps us broach difficult subjects, but we must look at the  original cause of our anger. We owe it to ourselves and our peace of mind to do so.

A Story: The Fence ~ by Anon 
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.  His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.  Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down.  He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.  The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.  The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.  He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.  The fence will never be the same.  When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”  You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.  But it won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound will still be there.


“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Motivation Mondays: ANGER - Let it go!

Motivation Mondays: ANGER – Let it go!

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” Gautama Buddha
Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life. Joan Lunden
When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred. Thomas Jefferson

Tomorrow is Nelson Mandela Day and he is a great example of someone who chose to rise above the rage and anger that could have annihilated him while he was in prison under the Apartheid regime. Instead, he focused his time and energy on doing mental work that kept him alive and his spirits up and eventually became a leading light of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission that investigated the atrocities of the system and encouraged forgiveness as a road to healing in South Africa. Over the years, many of us have raged about injustice, inequities, all the isms, prejudice, betrayals, deceptions and denials. We even raged about the sanctimonious, the self serving, and despots who lead their countries to ruin. But with time and reflection,  I came to the realization that we all have to learn to let  stuff go. We must come to terms with the fact that countering hate with hate is self defeating; only evil will prevail from such an approach and when we become blinded by hate and rage, what good would we serve?  If we wish to live in a just world, we must make equanimity paramount in our lives. It is not an easy to achieve, but it is worth the effort.

Anger can be used in both a productive and disruptive way, but we must be clear about the difference. When we stand up against oppression and vote our conscience, or speak out against injustice and put our money where our heart knows it will do the best work against evil, our anger is well served.  Allowing others to trigger rage and anger in us over petty squabbles or inaccurate information is a waste of time. Any time we find ourselves getting furious over the actions of or perceived insults from others, it would help to stop and consider, for a moment, that the slight might not be about us…

A Story: The Angry Train Rider
Several years ago, as I boarded a subway train in Manhattan, a face caught my attention; it was the face of a woman seated at the far left corner of the subway car. She was perched half off her seat; wearing a black coat with a colorful paisley scarf around her neck. But what caught my attention? Her face was permanently etched in an angry scowl; her mouth turned down in a pout, her eyes set in a glare and forehead furrowed from years of fury. She was not angry at that moment for she gave me a quick smile when she noticed I was staring at her. What struck me was the memory of my grandmother’s words, something she said whenever any of the kids were furious, “Wipe that anger off your face, for angry people end up with a permanent scowl on their faces.” If we harbor anger towards another person and make no attempt to resolve it, it also manifests in other ways; sarcasm, bitter humor, scathing remarks and even hypocrisy. It etches itself on our faces and in our bodies so we walk around with that energy in us. Countering our anger through Awareness and self-effort is key…


The details for Motivation Mondays are below. Join in! The themes for June/July 2017 are:



06/05  –  World Environment Day,  08 National Best Friend Day,  08 World Oceans Day
06/11 –  11  Trinity Sunday, 14 Flag Day
06/18 –  18 Father’s Day,  19 Juneteeth,  20 World Refugee Day,  21 Summer Solstice/International Yoga Day, 23 Intn’l  Widow’s Day, 24 Ramadan Ends
06/25 – 25  Eid al Fitr,  26 Against Drug Abuse Day,


07/04 –  Independence Day,
07/11 –  World Population Day, 14 Bastille Day
07/16 –  National Ice Cream Day, 18 Nelson Mandela Day
07/23 –  Parents Day,  28 World Hepatitis Day
07/30 – International Friendship Day


Are You Looking for Ways to Stay Creative in 2017?

– Join the Daily Post Post-a-day or Post-a-week Challenge.


— Join the BlogHer Writing Lab

More Below!

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Buddha

Motivation Mondays: ANGER - Let it go!

Motivation Mondays: ANGER – Let it go!

When anger rises, think of the consequences. Confucius
I shall allow no man to belittle my soul by making me hate him. Booker T. Washington
In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves. Buddha
Meditation can help us embrace our worries, our fear, our anger; and that is very healing. We let our own natural capacity of healing do the work. Thich Nhat Hanh

How can we work through our anger? Forgive. Contemplate/Meditate. Seek Professional Counseling. When we get angry, every nerve, every vessel, our heart and our mind become fully engaged in responding to the message within that we are under attack and need to defend ourselves. It can lead to a heart attack, headaches, illness and violence. It takes less effort to smile than it takes to wrinkle our faces, with eyes bulging, heart palpitating, and explode in anger. Even when we think we have overcome our anger, it comes out in insidious ways through petty resentments and passive aggressive behavior. In the long run, our anger hurts us. As Seth Godin suggested in a post, anger and creativity don’t mesh as anger strangles our creativity; this is an important thought to ponder when you feel overwhelmed by resentment, jealousy and anger. Redirect the rage into productive work and help yourself look the issue squarely in the face… Then do the necessary healing work because anger is toxic and the poison consumes us firs It was Maya Angelou who said that “Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean.”  If we redirect our rage into creative expression instead of acts of violence, we have won the first battle over this powerful emotion. Remember: It is best to work it out of our system for our own good not for the good of other person… they have moved on.

A Story: It’s NOT About You!
On a trip upstate, I stopped at a rest stop to buy gas and a cup of coffee. As I was walking towards the double glass doors of the rest stop store, a woman approached quickly on my right side. I reached for the door handle and opened the door. Before I could make a move, the woman pushed right past me, and barreled her way into the store. She didn’t say a word; no sorry, no thank you, nada. I wanted to say something but decided to focus on getting my coffee and moving on. Yes, I was in a good mood and had no desire to start an argument. Plus, when I thought about it, I felt she was oblivious to her surroundings and in a hurry. It wasn’t about me…
Lo and behold, as I stood on line to pay for my coffee, there she was again with some snacks in her hand. She paid for her snacks, ignored the store clerk’s friendly “How are you?” and “Thank you!” and… you got it, barreled her way out the door as an elderly man was ambling his way out the same door. She ignored his protests and comment about rude/inconsiderate people and headed off to her car. She acted in an angry way but we didn’t have to join her there…


Have a Happy, Healthy 2017!





Positive Motivation Tip: Revel in the good around you. Let the anger go.

Motivation Mondays is open to anyone who wishes to share a motivational quote, photo, personal challenge or a post that encourages others to start the week on an upbeat note.
Basic Instructions: Each week, I will have a motivation word to help us create a response. (See listed words for the months above/below)
Email address: You may email or share your post as a comment and I will add it to the round-up of related posts. email it to: contact(@)mirthandmotivation(.)com
Category tag: – Share your post using Motivation Mondays
Twitter hashtag: – Use this on Twitter #MotvnM
Dedicated Page: There is a dedicated page for Motivation Mondays. It has the same instructions and will include other helpful tools and a link to the round-up
Facebook Page:MotivationOnMondays Join our page and add your post and/or any motivational piece you think will be helpful to others.
Facebook Community: We have a Facebook community forum to compliment the page. It serves as another way to share uplifting posts and thoughts. Please join in and add your voice.

Badge: – I created a fun badge using PicMonkey’s free photo editing tools. You can create your own, use WordPress’ integrated tool on your blog or you are welcome to use mine. (see dedicated page)
Tag: – Motivation Mondays
Hashtag: – #MotvnM
Related Posts

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos via Wikipedia  and/or  Anger via Pixabay

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

62 Comments leave one →
  1. parentingpatch permalink
    17/07/2017 5:07 pm

    Anger is quite the powerful emotion. The key is to channel your anger into something productive rather than simply exploding with rage.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A Lynne permalink
    17/07/2017 5:44 pm

    Love the quotes on anger, especially Thomas Jeffersons’, lol. Definitely a gem to remember!

    Your “Angry Train Rider” story reminded me of something that happened a long time ago, I completely forgot about it until now. While in high school, people would *always* ask me why I was angry. And I rarely was. I was happy, confused and/or bored, depending on the curriculum, but angry was rarely the case. It took me about a year to realise that because of a sensitivity to light, I would squint my eyes all day while in the sun (I didn’t have sunglasses, because I wore sight-correcting glasses instead,) that would include my eyebrows turned downwards as if I was mad at something. I unintentionally looked like a walking ball of anger. My face muscles adapted and kept me squinting all day long without any work on my part.

    *shrugs* That woman could have had an unhappy life, but it’s equally possible her eyesight was just as sensitive too. I didn’t drop the angry scowl until a year into University, where I was finally wearing contacts and was able to wear sunglasses while outside. 😉


    • 17/07/2017 8:01 pm

      Sure, I understand. I still squint out of habit and have a furrow but it was not how the woman had her angry scowl; her anger was etched deeply into her face… .


  3. Jay Colby permalink
    17/07/2017 6:10 pm

    Great post as always working through our angry can be tough. Especially if it something that really hurt us emotional but it is something we all need to work on.


  4. Hey Sharonoox permalink
    17/07/2017 6:49 pm

    I really like the story about the Fence. It’s true that angry words spoken can’t be retrieved back. This is a good reminder that I too need to control my anger when things don’t go as planned. Anger makes people say stupid things!


  5. themomnoms permalink
    17/07/2017 7:25 pm

    I used to have serious anger issues in my past. I didn’t know how to handle it at all. Now I feel like I meditate more to really control my anger and to let it out in a more constructive way.


  6. Julie Syl permalink
    17/07/2017 9:55 pm

    This is also a good reminder to control our anger to breath it out all things bad from our heart.


  7. toastycritic permalink
    17/07/2017 10:33 pm

    Anger is such a complex emotion. It’s hard to think about it sometimes. But I do think that there is a time and a place for it. We just cannot use the energy we get it to be a destructive force but a constructive one. That’s the key to managing anger I think.


  8. Corinne & Kirsty 🌸 (@corinnekirsty) permalink
    18/07/2017 12:13 am

    I agree anger can be both productive and destructive. Anger can give energy, drive and motivation to achieve something as well as it can blind you. Such a powerful emotion! xx corinne


  9. Kelly Reci permalink
    18/07/2017 2:49 am

    As Confucius said, “when anger rises, think of the consequences”, even if we ask for forgiveness the damage has been done. we can never make it whole again, so when we are mad at something or someone, let’s take a pause and think of the consequences our burst of sudden anger will put us into.


  10. Carol Cassara permalink
    18/07/2017 3:21 am

    I would be lying if I said that I never get angry. I do, it’s just that I have learned along the way to think more positive instead of focusing on the bad things in life that would trigger my anger. It’s important that we let that feeling out but in a way that’s not destructive or toxic.


  11. Sue Tanya McHorgh permalink
    18/07/2017 5:02 am

    Great post. I used to not know how to control my anger back then and it did me no good. Watching my anger and breathing is definitely a great help.


  12. 조이 Czjai (@RebelSweetHrt) permalink
    18/07/2017 5:04 am

    I must admit, I am quite volatile and easily angered when I am stressed. I try to take a breather during times like these – pause, reflect, think happy thoughts – otherwise I will end up venting my anger on the people around me. 😦


  13. GiGi Eats Celebrities permalink
    18/07/2017 6:52 am

    Interestingly enough – I really do not get angry very often. I just don’t see the point. I don’t have people in my life who cause such an emotion… Drama is not part of my life at all. I also don’t hold grudges because life is too short and again, drama is not what I take part in!


  14. chavamazal permalink
    18/07/2017 9:22 am

    I admit I have trouble controlling my temper sometimes. The parable about the nails and the fence is really good, I’m going to have to share that one.


  15. interNATionalcaty permalink
    18/07/2017 11:05 am

    Great topic! As I get older, I’ve learned how to control my anger and just let things go as it is not that important in the scheme of life


  16. Laima Mikelsone permalink
    18/07/2017 12:55 pm

    Loved this! Just reading this, I realized for the first time that more people should be talkong about this topic as anger is something everyone experiences. For me, it mostly turns into productivity because I want to prove people wrong, but the rest of the time it still takes a lot of work to control it.. 🙂


  17. Mommy Engineering permalink
    18/07/2017 1:41 pm

    Wow this totally hit home to me! I totally struggle with anger issues and the quote about losing time to be happy is so true! Wow!


  18. Yeu Doi permalink
    18/07/2017 1:43 pm

    Anger is not good for our health, so we are rarely angry nor have negative feelings. We like to find effective solutions.


  19. dianehoffmaster permalink
    18/07/2017 2:05 pm

    Anger is a very powerful emotion and it definitely can be used for both good and evil. A very eye opening article on the topic!


  20. Ana De-Jesus permalink
    18/07/2017 2:57 pm

    I am quite an emotional person but I am more likely to cry or get frustrated rather than angry. That being said sometimes when i I get angry and cry after it is because I don’t know how to deal with my emotions!


  21. Ashvin Nankoo permalink
    18/07/2017 3:24 pm

    Anger is definitely a power emotion. For years, especially during my teenage years, I have always contained my anger but I think that just caused me more harm than good. Now I have a stress/ anger relieving technique and works quite well!


  22. Kevin Rodriguez permalink
    18/07/2017 3:24 pm

    Thanks for the inspiring words. I agree on the quote to turn anger into something productive instead of destructive.


  23. Pammy permalink
    18/07/2017 4:02 pm

    Imagine there’s no anger, maybe it would be perfect! It’s important to have self-control and to learn to let go.


  24. Amber permalink
    18/07/2017 4:41 pm

    Oo Nelson Mandela. What a wonderful man. I admit, I do get angry. It’s a human emotion. But I do try to watch my anger. I don’t want to be known as the “lady who is angry all the time.” Plus I try to focus on the positives in my life.


  25. Candy Rachelle permalink
    18/07/2017 5:02 pm

    I don’t know what it is but I very rarely get angry. I’ve pretty much been like this all of my life. Which is why I can’t comprehend people doing horrible things out of anger.


  26. Sarah-Louise Bailey permalink
    18/07/2017 6:33 pm

    Its a great reminder for angry folks. Its better to control the anger and take care of the health rather than getting into big troubles,


  27. Sarah Bailey permalink
    18/07/2017 6:34 pm

    Its a great reminder for angry folks. Its better to control the anger and take care of the health rather than getting into big troubles,


  28. Lisa Rios permalink
    18/07/2017 7:23 pm

    Anger is something I do struggle with. I’m proud to say that I’m getting better at managing it everyday. It’s something I continually do my best to improve in. It takes a long time, but it’s worth it for me and my relationships.


  29. alisonrost permalink
    18/07/2017 7:33 pm

    As I read your post, thoughts of my son came to mind. For the longest time, he seemed to hate the world. All that changed once he became a dad. It happened so fast, that it seemed like night and day. He took up the study of Buddhism, and completely changed his persona. Now he’s someone I look forward to spending time with. Most of all, he’s helped create a happy home for my grandson. x


  30. NeverSayDieBeauty permalink
    18/07/2017 7:43 pm

    My significant other has anger management issues, and he studied mindfulness and meditation and it had been helping him. Lately, it has returned. Your post and the specific mention of “return to your breath” made me remember that I need to discuss mindfulness again with him.


  31. confettiandbliss permalink
    18/07/2017 8:46 pm

    Truthfully, it’s been a very long time since I’ve experienced true anger. The only thing that brings me close is the the whirlwind of negative news related to politics here in the US.


  32. Gil Camporazo permalink
    19/07/2017 1:11 am

    Dictionary maker or the lexicographer has undergone a meticulous research of those words contained in the dictionary. Every word has its own origin or derivative. Personally, I may analyze the word ANGER that within its context or the very word itself contains its synonym. If you are going to rearrange it you can get RAGE which means ANGER. – Gil Camporazo


  33. miltongohgl permalink
    19/07/2017 1:55 am

    I totally agree that focusing on breathing helps to calm the anger storm. It sucks to feel anger and one has to consciously choose to get out of that spiraling and destructive anger mode.


  34. Sona Jain permalink
    19/07/2017 3:48 am

    I was very short tempered person once upon a time but I have improved over time and constantly surround my self with positive people.


  35. Rosey permalink
    19/07/2017 4:53 am

    Nelson Mandela is a great example! Anger is an ugly thing that steals a lot of things.


  36. Violinkit permalink
    19/07/2017 5:00 am

    What a positive thought………”Every minute you are angry you lose a minute of happiness”……This is so true and something I didn’t think about till I just read it on your post. I get angrier less and less as time goes by…….But sometimes its the only way to get certain people to not take you for granted.


  37. Robin Rue permalink
    19/07/2017 6:07 am

    Anger is one of those emotions that I hate to have to feel or even show. It is so strong and can be flighty without thinking.


  38. chtalha permalink
    19/07/2017 7:17 am

    I dont think anger is good thing. As Holy Prophet (PBUH) narrated which means that, a strong person is who control his anger instead of other who defeat other in a fight.


  39. Gideon permalink
    19/07/2017 7:24 am

    Anger can be very disastrous when allowed to overwhelm one’s sense of judgement. My Advice: Be in control by trying your very best to breath.. When i say breathing i mean deep breath and also do not take an action at the heat try walking away.


  40. Eloise permalink
    19/07/2017 8:02 am

    I love that story about the boy and his father! My son had anger issues (he has been through a lot!) his dad (now my ex) had anger issues and I found out he had been taking it out on my son… It has been a year since my divorce and I can tell you my son is getting better. I have been teaching my boy how to deal with his anger and control it! Maybe I should share the story about the fence with him to help a bit more… that story hit home for me!


  41. Tiffany Yong permalink
    19/07/2017 8:20 am

    I expected your story of the nails on the fence because it’s such a popular story about anger. I love the one on the “It’s Not About You” though, because it’s hard to remain unaffected when people try to pass the anger to you.


  42. Ankita permalink
    19/07/2017 8:55 am

    I really think one should be calm before expressing anger..I do follow quotes of Gautama Buddha.


  43. Kelly permalink
    19/07/2017 10:18 am

    I take deep breaths whenever I feel angry and try to live a mindful, calm life and take healthy/positive steps whenever I feel angry.


  44. AllGudThings permalink
    19/07/2017 11:05 am

    This is such a detailed and positive post. I loved the story. Actually, I had never given such a deep thought to anger and I too need to work on it. You are right once the wound is given it can never be repaired.


  45. elenasts permalink
    19/07/2017 11:17 am

    Many of you would find this difficult to believe but I rarely feel anger. I accept life as it is, do not expect a lot from people and I think I am happier that way.


  46. chewoutloud permalink
    19/07/2017 12:01 pm

    I always work on my boys and myself with breathing when angry. It really helps!


  47. travelnidajourney permalink
    19/07/2017 6:13 pm

    I totally agree with this angry issue !! and it seems small but it can create big problem into life


  48. Esse D permalink
    19/07/2017 6:16 pm

    It’s funny because I was angry when I started reading this post. I was able to find my center by breathing and reflecting on positive things. It’s important to find an outlet for your anger. Thanks for the reminder.


  49. Kristine Nicole Alessandra permalink
    19/07/2017 11:45 pm

    Thank you Elizabeth for this article. Being human, I have had bouts of anger uncontrolled. I was also the recipient of someone else’s burst of anger. The trust is gone. Although we have asked forgiveness from each other, the pain is never gone. The words still ring loud and clear in my mind every time I think of it. I learned my lesson. When I am just about to blow my top, I just have to turn my back, find a quiet place, breathe, pray. Anger is not worth a moment in my precious life.


  50. Blair Villanueva permalink
    20/07/2017 3:19 am

    Anger – sometimes its hard to control. But, if you need to release it then do it. Because most of the time it is not good to keep it.


  51. Rebecca Swenor (@beclewis) permalink
    20/07/2017 3:24 am

    Anger is something we should never hold on too. It does more damage than good so it is important to let it go and give it to a higher power. Everything happens for a reason and everything will workout in the end. Thanks for sharing this awesome story and post.


  52. Travel Blogger permalink
    20/07/2017 6:03 am

    I love the fence analogy! That is such a great story and so true about anger. I grew up in a very angry household, and it is something that I have to work on a lot. In my younger days, it was bad, but the older I get, the more I have been able to learn to control my anger and channel my energy into other outlets.


  53. hal permalink
    20/07/2017 7:09 am

    im an angry guy 🙂 at anytime i can explode like the hulk but its rare and i love it :p its real or i count to ten and walk away and let the steam go down. but a very deep post about anger – i like it


  54. Via Bella permalink
    20/07/2017 7:31 am

    Elizabeth– that is very powerful. I completely agree with everything you said. I always forget the nails in the fence story but it’s always such a good one. I don’t know Nelson did it.


  55. RonRon permalink
    20/07/2017 7:49 am

    Anger steals the color from our life. We must learn to contain them or to release them in a good positive way.


  56. Vanessa permalink
    20/07/2017 1:38 pm

    The older I get, the less angry I get. It’s really just a matter of realizing that whatever someone else does or says usually has nothing to do with you.


Please leave me a meaningful, post related comment. Thank You!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: