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Musings: Define Yourself…

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“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.”  Harvey Fierstein.

Musings: Define Yourself…

The Business Meeting: A business woman named Cindy was in the airport VIP lounge on her way to Los Angeles. While in the VIP lounge, she noticed Donald Trump sitting on the sofa enjoying a brandy. As luck would have it, Cindy was meeting with a very important client who was running somewhat late.
Being a bold business woman, Cindy decided to go ahead and approach Mr. Trump, and introduced herself. Much to her surprise Mr. Trump turned out to be very nice. Encouraged by this she explained to “the Donald” that she was about to close a very important business deal and that she would be very grateful if he could say a quick “hello Cindy” to her when she was with her client. Mr. Trump consented to do just that.
Ten minutes later while Cindy was speaking with her client, she felt a rap on her shoulder. It was Donald Trump. Cindy turned about and looked at him as Trump said.
“Hi Cindy, what’s going on?”
To which Cindy glibly replied, “Not now, Donald, can’t you see I’m in a meeting!”via funnystories

Recently, someone asked my opinion about how another woman dressed. My response was that it is her prerogative to dress as she wishes and if people don’t like it they can look away. We live in a world where women are always being told how to dress, look, think, and act, and when we choose to define ourselves by our own standards I applaud it. We will always be judged by others so we must know who we are and define ourselves. For this post, I’ve added some funny stories for elaboration and your enjoyment.

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” Wayne Dyer

Musings: Define Yourself…

What Happened in Detroit: A tough looking biker had been in the biker bar for quite some time when he finally decided it was time, once again to hit the road. He stepped through the front door of the bar and instantly realized that his bike had vanished from the spot he had parked it.
“All right” he said loudly, coming back into the busy biker bar “I’m going to have a shot of whisky and if my hog isn’t back up front by the time I’m done, what happened in Detroit will happen here too!”
With that many of the bikers ran out of the bar and within moments one came back to tell the tough biker that his hog was now parked in front of the bar for him. When the tough guy started to leave the bartender asked him.
“Pardon me, stranger, but what happened in Detroit?”
The tough biker replied casually: “I had to walk back to my hotel!” via funnystories

If you’ve lived long enough, you know people can snicker about stuff and be mean, just let them be. We’ve all had people object to things we do and we live our lives the best we can without worrying about the naysayers. Why allow someone to shame you? Are they invested in your well-being? Do they even care? One man’s meat is another man’s poison. So stay true to you. More below!

“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” Rumi

Musings: Define Yourself…

I Know This Lawyer: A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial-a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.” At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail within 3 minutes!” via funnystories

No matter what we do or how we live our lives, there will be detractors.  We don’t have to react to every one. Mrs. Jones might be right, but it up to those lawyers to define how they choose to live their lives.  As a good friend  loves to say, “I want to sleep at night; no jerky behavior for me.” We choose how we wish to live our lives and some do so with dignity and others not so much. It is is their decision not ours to make…  We can remove ourselves from toxic situations and follow our own drum. Live your life!

What are your thoughts? Are you a people-pleaser who negates yourself to impress others? What do you hope to get out of it? Do you define you or let others define you? How have others opinions of your life choices impacted your life? Do share? Thank you! 🙂

*Please bear with me as I catch up on your blogs and commenting… I’m back on track with reading and responding to your blogs; albeit at a slow pace. Thank you all for your patience! 🙂

For More: Women’s Lives & Issues 

Positive Motivation Tip: Choose how you wish to define yourself and then go live it. We are all being judged by others. Don’t let that define you.

More Wellness Boosters/Affirmations & Resources

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos Whirling dervishesLawyers, via Wikipedia. Bikers in black from my Personal collection.

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

58 Comments leave one →
  1. 14/10/2012 8:41 pm

    Loved the stories!! If anyone tried to ever define me they would be hard pressed. I change my own mind about who and what I am enough so I can’t imagine anyone else could figure it out. =)

    • 16/10/2012 12:28 am

      TY Barb! And I can’t imagine you being boxed too. 🙂

  2. 14/10/2012 9:19 pm

    I don’t think I’m such a people pleaser, but I can get my feelings hurt a little too easily. I love the Rumi quote–“If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” I won’t forget that one! 🙂 Lovely post. D

    • 16/10/2012 12:30 am

      I fell in love with that on too… So true and worth remembering. 😉

  3. 14/10/2012 9:56 pm

    I especially liked the story about Donald Trump. I wonder if it is true…

    • 16/10/2012 12:33 am

      I wondered about that too… But maybe it is true as I would hesitate to use his name in a cooked up story… 😆 TY!

  4. 14/10/2012 10:22 pm

    Funny stories, LOL. Very good quotes, lovely , inspiring blog you have here.

    • 16/10/2012 12:37 am

      TY Indira! I enjoyed the stories too and will be by soon to visit. 🙂

  5. 15/10/2012 12:42 am

    Loved the Trump story.

  6. 15/10/2012 1:20 am

    I love the Trump story too! This is a wonderful post and it got to me in two ways. Today I caught myself saying something a little snide about someone who is my friend and after I said it I felt terrible and wondered why on earth I had done this since this is not usually something I do. I realized it was because I was livening up a conversation with another friend – how pathetic. I have decided not to do this again. The other way your post got to me is in the way it inspires confidence.

    • 16/10/2012 12:42 am

      I’m glad you got something out of it… We are all guilty to some extent and we can change… I’ve felt the same way too. TY! 🙂

  7. 15/10/2012 2:16 am

    Such insightful words and photos. Wayne Dyer’s quote hit the nail on the head. Have a wonderful week 🙂

    • 16/10/2012 12:44 am

      I was grateful to read it again and it works perfectly with the rest of the post. Dr. Dyer is the best. TY! 🙂

  8. 15/10/2012 3:34 am

    Hilarious stories. I especially love the Rumi quote. I am the worst culprit when it comes to judging people. The worst!! Ugh.

    • 16/10/2012 12:46 am

      TY Genevieve! I had a good time reading the stories… 🙂

  9. 15/10/2012 4:15 am

    Great post it made my day thank you.

  10. 15/10/2012 8:16 am

    Interesting post, Elizabeth. “When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” A fine quote and very telling.

    • 16/10/2012 12:50 am

      I love that quote too. Isn’t it perfect? TY! 🙂

  11. Bree permalink
    15/10/2012 2:36 pm

    No matter what we do, some people will never be satisfied. Until we learn to respect ourselves and our choices, we will fall victim to every whim. I like this post and Rumi’s advice.

    • 16/10/2012 12:53 am

      I concur. TY! Self love and respect are important tools we all need. 🙂

  12. 15/10/2012 8:52 pm


  13. 16/10/2012 6:06 am

    I am a people pleaser up to a point – I never like to deliberately upset others or make them feel bad about themselves, but I am always true to myself.

    I try not to judge others, but it’s hard – there’s a lot of jerks out there 😀

    Please may I steal your jokes?

    • eof737 permalink*
      16/10/2012 7:15 am

      I don’t like to intentionally offend others because it’s mean and I believe a lot in karma. Thankfully, with age, I know me and Dr Dyer and Rumi’s quotes work well for me too. You may steal my jokes anytime Tilly… just don’t call me Mary when you use them. 😆

      • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife permalink
        16/10/2012 7:16 am

        Thank you, Ma…Eliz 😉

      • eof737 permalink*
        16/10/2012 7:36 am

        You are funny Tilly which by the way, rhymes with Silly! Now I know why you picked the name… playful, fun silly. Love it and your humor. 🙂

      • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife permalink
        16/10/2012 7:37 am

        Oi! No Maltesers for you.

        And thanks 🙂

      • eof737 permalink*
        16/10/2012 7:40 am

        Oops si daisy… but wait, you never share your Maltesers anyway right? 😆 TY! Will be by to read the new posts… I don’t know how you do it twice a day. Phew! 😉

      • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife permalink
        16/10/2012 7:42 am

        The jokes are easy. I prepare at least one a night and often several in advance, so if I don’t feel like doing one, I have one ready.

      • eof737 permalink*
        16/10/2012 7:57 am

        That’s admirable but it must take work to find them and line them up too… right? 😉

      • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife permalink
        16/10/2012 7:58 am

        Well, yes… 🙂

      • eof737 permalink*
        16/10/2012 8:04 am

        There, you work hard lady… love to you, the hub and the fam… TY for being my blog buddy… It’s been at least a year! 😉

      • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife permalink
        16/10/2012 8:07 am

        Yes, it must be. And it’s been fun. I love your blog.

        Talking of working hard – is there ONE blog you are subscribed to that you don’t visit EVERY SINGLE post you missed while away and comment upon?


        You work way harder than me 🙂

      • eof737 permalink*
        16/10/2012 8:19 am

        I love your blog too… dedicated member of the Mutual Admiration Society here! I’m so behind on blog visits and comments that I worry I might never catch up. I do visit blogs daily and I’m slowly easing my way to as many as possible. My system changes all the time as I find more efficient ways to respond. I’m now reminding myself to make sure to reciprocate ( visit and respond ) to all who visit/comment/like my blog. Phew! 🙂

      • Tilly Bud - The Laughing Housewife permalink
        16/10/2012 8:21 am

        I find that’s the best way. Then I visit those I’m subscribed to/on my blog roll. Sometimes I catch up!

        But hardly ever.

        I’ve said it before: please don’t feel obliged to visit everyone of my posts you miss. But if you feel you must, hit Like and move on. It’s okay to have a life, you know 🙂

      • eof737 permalink*
        16/10/2012 8:34 am

        TY darling and ditto. I love your blog, no problem. Likes/comments work for me too… I’m grateful for the connections when they appear. TY! 🙂

  14. 16/10/2012 2:23 pm

    Very wise words! This goes along withs some wise words I heard a while ago, “Don’t be a victim. What do YOU want your story to be…and then go after it.”
    Looks like the Trump story was a hit. I got a kick out of that one too!

    • 16/10/2012 2:27 pm

      Aye! True too… The final say has to be up to us… TY! 🙂

  15. 17/10/2012 7:25 am

    An inspiring message! It is hard of course to find ourselves because we have been shaped since birth by society, parents’ expectations, but in the end it is only us and us only who have the right to define ourselves.

    • 21/10/2012 2:24 pm

      Exactly… and the sooner we learn to do so the better… So many creeps out there waiting to pounce on the weak. Sadly. 🙁

  16. 17/10/2012 11:17 am

    “If you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?” Rumi
    I love this quote.
    I saw the post where the blogger asked you for advice and your answer inspired me to speak up and tell her what I actually thought of what she was doing with that post. Which as you know led to some interesting events for me. But I thank you for that. Because you reminded me of what I need to stand up for sometimes and that is always a good thing. I loved the Trump story. It made me smile

    • 17/10/2012 11:59 am

      As I mature (get older?), I find that I often feel compelled to speak up about things that concern me… Good for you to speak up and I’m glad she reconsidered her position. TY Jo! 🙂

  17. 17/10/2012 7:06 pm

    Love this one the most, eof. I think you nailed this one. The way you share your thoughts in between the stories is phenomenal here. A great subject, I guess. I love the first story, esp. when she addressed him only by his first name. Bwahahaha.

    Simple answer for me, I can assure people realize this when they get older and older. 😀

    • 21/10/2012 2:28 pm

      I agree with you Rommel that we realize our own strengths as we mature; then we are more confident about defending them… Yeah, the stoiries were a hoot. Will be by later TY for your support. 😉

  18. 20/10/2012 11:21 am

    This is a great post! Very thought-provoking.

    • 21/10/2012 2:29 pm

      TY Naomi and it evolved from an unfortunate event….I learn something from blogging adventures every day. 😉

  19. 22/10/2012 10:39 pm

    Oh!!! These were sooo good. I am very amused and yet touched by how your words. We can be who we are and live in no fear of that. I still struggle with this. I am a people-pleaser. But I am getting better. 🙂

    • 22/10/2012 10:48 pm

      At least you know that you are and that is important too… The stories were funny too… trying to lift a topic that can be downer TY! 🙂

  20. 29/04/2013 8:40 pm


  21. Author Brandi Kennedy permalink
    11/02/2017 6:50 pm

    I loved the stories you chose to include here, but I also loved how you used that last one to illustrate the point of your post. It really is so important to maintain your own sense of self – and that can be hard, living in such an intrusive and opinionated society. But it must be done.

    I was a people pleaser for a long time, and a miserable one. On top of being a people pleaser, which is bad enough in itself, I also had the unfortunate habit of surrounding myself with people who simply could not be pleased. It left me with a very low view of myself – one that I’m still working to build up again.


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