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Reflections: Goodbyes Are Never Easy…

17/06/2012

“Love give me strength, and strength will help me through. Goodbye, dear father.” William Shakespeare

Reflections: Goodbyes Are Never Easy…

“Why can’t we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn’t work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves and then we have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.” Snoopy

Even as many celebrate that special memory or share moments of delight spent in the company of a living parent, there are a great number who hold bittersweet memories of a departed dad; especially those of us who weren’t able to say a proper goodbye. Death came swiftly, in the early hours of a cool Wednesday morning, for my dad. I was told he got up, turned the radio to BBC news, lay down again to listen to it and passed away. Twenty plus years later and the story is revisited again and again…

Although, back then, we gathered with friends and family and went through the motions of planning, organizing and executing a celebration of his life and a funeral to match, our time with him on that final leg to his resting place still felt incomplete; abbreviated. How do we say goodbye to those we love and hold in high esteem? Never. How do we say goodbye when the last memory was of a cherished phone-call in which the first and final words were “Hello!”? Goodbyes are never easy, under most circumstances, and Father’s Day often brings such thoughts and memories front and center. More below

“Could we see when and where we are to meet again, we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.” Marie Louise De La Ramée

Reflections: Goodbyes Are Never Easy…

“May the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, May God hold you in the hollow of his hand.” Irish Blessings

Imagining you’d come to say goodbye… by Jennifer Reeser
Imagining you’d come to say goodbye,
I made a doll of raffia and string.
I gave her thatch hair, and a broomstick skirt
of patchwork satin rags. Around each eye
I stitched thick lashes. Such a touching thing
she was! That even you could not debate –
impassive, undemanding and inert.
Yes, surely she’d cause you yourself to sigh.
Around her breast, I sewed a loden ring
to guard her cotton heart from being hurt,
then sat down in the fabric scraps to wait,
between the rafters and the furnace grate,
needle in hand, and never so aware
no craft on earth is master to despair. via famouspoetsandpeoms

The thing with goodbyes is that they always leave a lingering and a longing behind… We do eventually move on, but then a fragrance wafts through the door on a sunny morning or a display of colorful polo shirts leap at you, all quite innocently, at a local store, and the floodgates open our hearts wide again, reminding us of precise and specific moments with our loved ones engaged in some innocuous task. Ah, memory is a powerful thing indeed and nothing brings it back as well as a scent or a sign… It fades yes, but we don’t forget. For Father’s Day, I honor every Dad out there who truly cares… Love and blessings to all. Happy Father’s Day! Happy Father’s Day!

This post was inspired by a prompt from WP Plinky: Describe the last difficult “goodbye” you said.

Positive Motivation Tip: Celebrate life every day and on Father’s Day, celebrate yours.

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos Hamlet and his father’s ghost by Henry Fuseli via Wikipedia and/or Goodbye by radiant guy, via Flickr

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

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33 Comments leave one →
  1. 18/06/2012 4:49 am

    Reblogged this on Milenanik3's Blog and commented:
    amazing artlcle

    Like

  2. 18/06/2012 5:11 am

    I felt every word that you shared! My father 82 and we were not close when i was younger, but then he had 4 other children and i was second in the pecking order! I was blessed with a wonderful grandmother to whom i was the apple of her eye, and i had a host of Aunts and Uncles whom i was close to in love and spirit! I have grown to appreciate him now, because i understand how being so young and having so many children, he had to learn eventually how we all do to juggle, life, responsibilities, raising children! We all learn along the way. Yesterday he spent Fathers Day at my home in Jersey, with wife, my step-mom, In the end i am the only one of the five that will share our house with them every holiday or anytime, my wife has help me to forget the things of the past. And i do not hold it against him, but in these latter times i appreciate him! What he was unable to give to me others did, and i was always in the embrace of my Lord from a very young age. I share this because, every single moment is precious, for know not when it will end. I learned that with my 8 month old son Ian I spent as much time as possible with him in His life, because he was born premature at 24 months and i watched him grow outside the womb. The last night i saw him would be one of the biggest blessings of my life, Because for all the went through, his smile told me everything would be alright…and the next morning on mothers day he passed. Our love ones are so very special! We must learn to forgive and forget…for time ticks away and you do not want to be sitting alone one day and wondering why some things you did not do for them while they were alive. With Ian i gave my life, and i knew I was as precious to him, as he was to me. To my father, i spoil a little bit more all the time, making moments count! Your write is so very true and moving, and especially meaningful….I loved it thanks for sharing your heart!

    Like

    • 18/06/2012 9:58 am

      What a powerful share and my condolences on your loss. You write so beautifully and sensitively about your journey with your dad and with Ian and I am grateful for your insights. Thank you for sharing too!

      Like

  3. Bree permalink
    18/06/2012 9:15 am

    This is a subject that has been on my mind too. Holidays and special occasions bring up a lot of emotional stuff for lots of people. I’m glad you chose to speak to that group on fathers day because the rest forget while they celebrate. Goodbyes are always hard and yet they help us all to move on. I really liked this post and I wish you well in all you do.
    B

    Like

    • 18/06/2012 9:44 am

      Thank you and I was thinking about the fatherless on Father’s Day and as I took a walk yesterday afternoon and observed the families that were gathered in their homes along the path, it struck me that for those without said parent around, the day will be quiet… and reflective. Not necessarily sad. I wasn’t writing this from a place of sadness either. TY!

      Like

  4. 18/06/2012 10:45 am

    I am not the type of person who feels comfortable saying goodbye…no matter how casual or deep the “goodbye” is.

    Like

    • 18/06/2012 10:48 am

      I hear you Frances and you know, it’s the same for many, many of us too. TY! 🙂

      Like

  5. Catherine Johnson permalink
    18/06/2012 11:49 am

    What a wonderful post and I adore that poem. Dads are so special, I find it hard with mine being in another country. I get to see him for three weeks soon, I can’t wait. It has been over a year now. It will be hard to part this time for sure.

    Like

    • 20/06/2012 8:54 am

      Good! I’m glad that you will visit with hm… Enjoy the precious time together as it never comes back. Will check in to read up on it. 🙂

      Like

  6. LadyBlueRose's Thoughts Into Words permalink
    18/06/2012 12:15 pm

    I don’t use the word….
    somewhere, someone (or a whisper on the wind?) a long time ago said
    good byes are permanent….never to be undone
    so I will say “see you later” for i know I will if not in this moment
    then in the next…..
    I feel all those who have moved forward from my life around me
    so I think only the veil separates….s sudden out of the blue memory
    or a thought they would have had lets me know they are still here
    Beautiful post…… I enjoyed it as I always do….
    Thank you for sharing you …..
    Take Care…
    )0(
    maryrose

    Like

    • 20/06/2012 8:55 am

      Thanks for sharing this lovely message … Good for you to have found another way and word… I love the idea too. 🙂

      Like

  7. 18/06/2012 1:19 pm

    I hate goodbyes at airports, especially. I had a hurried goodbye with my mother, who was so sad to leave us in Jamaica. We never saw her again as she died three months later. I love that Shakespeare quote.

    Like

    • 20/06/2012 8:56 am

      I’m sorry to read about your mom… that must have been so sad… Yes, they are difficult at the airport for sure.

      Like

  8. 18/06/2012 2:08 pm

    I was thinking of you over the weekend and thinking perhaps, the holiday is a bit bittersweet. Memories are painful and precious at the same time. Love and hugs to you sweet Elizabeth as you remember your father.

    Like

    • 18/06/2012 7:12 pm

      TY Angel… It’s not meant to be a sad post just a reflection on facts. The memories I have are bittersweet but no longer painful. TY!

      Like

  9. 18/06/2012 4:02 pm

    As I said on another blog, my son has a card on his frige that reads “any man can be a father but it takes a special man to be a dad”. How true is that? Thank you for sharing.

    Like

    • 18/06/2012 7:08 pm

      So true Judith… I love that quote and your new template. Great blog photo too. 🙂

      Like

  10. 18/06/2012 10:31 pm

    Sometimes I wonder if it’s better to have the time to say all the goodbyes before we check out…it’s so hard either way. I’m glad you wrote about this so as to refresh my memory on how short our time really is here on earth.

    Like

    • 18/06/2012 11:55 pm

      I wonder about it too and realize that the real gift is in being present when we do say goodbye and trusting in the greater good. TY! 🙂

      Like

  11. 19/06/2012 11:59 am

    I am agree, its very difficult to say “Goodbyes” Therefore, do not say Sayonara … 😆 Just keep in your heart. …some days… one time… you never know 😆

    Like

    • 19/06/2012 1:49 pm

      Exactly and the wisdom helps us continue on our journey. TY Della Bella! 🙂

      Like

  12. 19/06/2012 12:28 pm

    So insightful, so beautifully written. Since I was eight I have had Father’s Day without a father, but it made me love and appreciate my mother all the more.

    Like

    • 19/06/2012 12:30 pm

      Thank you for your comment… and I can relate because my time with my mom was limited too. 🙂

      Like

  13. 19/06/2012 7:08 pm

    I’ve blogged of both my parents many times…I feel so grateful to have the
    love that they gave me… and all of the wonderful words and pictures that come to mind in unexpected times…Isn’t that grand! ~mkg

    Like

    • 20/06/2012 9:00 am

      It is terrific to read that you appreciate their love and presence in your life. Some of us never think about it till they are gone… We must cherish our loved ones in the present. TY! 🙂

      Like

  14. 22/06/2012 4:36 am

    Saying goodbye to my father was, and remains, the most painful event of my life

    Like

    • 22/06/2012 4:40 am

      I’m sorry to read that and yes, it was difficult for me too… but time has softened the rub… Sending virtual hugs your way. 🙂

      Like

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