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Humor: Why Top Ten Lists Rock and Ten To Keep You Laughing…

21/07/2011
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“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”  Henry Ward Beecher

Humor: Why Top Ten Lists Rock and Ten To Keep You Laughing... Punch & Judy...

I love Top Ten Lists because, let’s be honest, most of the time they are a breeze to write.  Anyone can come up with a list, a thought, a complaint, a love, and create a top ten list out of it. Others can comment and add their two cents but they can’t challenge the veracity of your list… It would be pointless to do so because Top Ten posts are typically POV pieces, and what’s to get our knickers in a twist over another blogger’s point of view. It’s YOURS and people can take it or leave it.

Another reason I love them is that the idea alone, of coming up with ten things, helps you focus your post on that one topic. You can go from the serious to the ridiculous to the sublime;  It’s your list and hey … okay, I said that already.  Also,  you can borrow information and tips, photos, videos, quotes, you name it,  to help your post along and soon … bada bing, you’re done!  Generally, they are fun to write and mostly tongue-in-cheek lists to spark some good conversation and feedback.  Below are my top ten humorous jokes and videos (not lists although that would be fun too) that came to mind… Today.  Enjoy them!


MOUSE vs CHEESE  – ONE

Skinny Dipping – TWO
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoes, courts, and some orange, and lime trees. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’ The old man frowned, “I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked…” Holding the bucket up he said, “I’m here to feed the alligator.”  😆

Some of my earliest memories of humorous pieces were through Punch and Judy puppet shows… they were hilarious. We all need some laughter. Do check out the rest below. Are you a serial Top Ten blogger?  Do share

“A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”  William Arthur Ward

Humor: Why Top Ten Lists Rock and Ten To Keep You Laughing... Do I look funny?

I’m Comic Sans, Asshole from joehollier on Vimeo.

I’M COMIC SANS – THREE

McD’s – FOUR
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
‘We don’t have half dozen nuggets,’ said the teenager at the counter.
‘You don’t?’ I replied.
‘We only have six, nine, or twelve,’ was the reply.
‘So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?’
‘That’s right.’
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true…)
(must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn’t have any, only splenda and sugar.)

ATM THINGY  – FIVE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM ‘thingy.’ (keep shuddering!!)

“A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself.”  Clifton Paul Fadiman

Humor: Why Top Ten Lists Rock and Ten To Keep You Laughing... laughing cat

WAL-M – SIX
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those ‘dividers’ that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the ‘divider’, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, ‘Do you know how much this is?’
I said to her ‘I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.’
She said ‘OK,’ and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.

REMOTE DOOR LOCK – SEVEN
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
‘Do you need some help?’ I asked.
She replied, ‘I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?’
‘Hmmm, I don’t know. Do you have an alarm, too?’ I asked.
‘No, just this remote thingy,’ she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, ‘Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk….’  PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”  William James


I WILL SURVIVE – EIGHT

BLANK COPIES – NINE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, ‘I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?’ ‘Just use paper from the photocopier’, the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five ‘blank’ copies.

ANT KILLER – TEN
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants.. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, ‘I just gave him some ant killer……’ Dispatcher: ‘Rush him in to emergency!’

Okay, A BONUS:  HEADING 70 – ELEVEN 😉
Life is tough. Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02.. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run–anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,”did I wake you?”
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won’t wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 5 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can’t remember who sent you this list.
20. What was the question again?

What about you? What are your thoughts? What do you like about top ten lists? Do you find it easy to do? What about humor – your top ten or even one to add to the list? Do share! Thank you. 😉

This post was inspired by a prompt from WP Daily Post Either way, make a list of the reasons why top ten lists are often so disappointing. If you can’t quite come up with 10, go for a Top 5 list. And if you’re feeling more positive today than I am, go for a top ten list of why top ten lists are awesome.

Positive Motivation Tip: Enjoy some humor and ease in life… Top Ten lists are tongue in cheek…

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos punch and Judy, humor,  funny dog, and laughing cat via Wikipedia. Videos via Youtube and Huffpost per Joe Hollier

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

67 Comments leave one →
  1. 22/07/2011 12:28 am

    No, I mustn’t. (only one more)
    No way. (or perhaps, yes?)
    Oh no…
    I did it again – I read your blog, ALL OF IT. How am I going to get to work now?

    • 22/07/2011 12:40 am

      Thank you! You are so sweet… I hope it didn’t take too much time… Even the videos are short. That Comic Sans one is a riot. I hope people don’t find the salty language offensive. Thanks again for your support… Hey, where are your posts of late? I haven’t received any lately. Share some humor! 🙂

      • 22/07/2011 11:15 am

        “take too much time…”: Isn’t there always time once you get addicted to something? But maybe I should read your posts AFTER work…
        Anyway, I did survive 😉

      • 23/07/2011 2:50 am

        I wouldn’t worry about salty language. Another thing that comes with age (an 80 y-o woman told me), you get to say whatever the h$ll you want to say!

  2. 22/07/2011 1:46 am

    HILARIOUS! You had me rolling over here and cracking up! I loved this funny post! 😀

    • 02/09/2011 4:46 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed it… Humor is good for the soul… 🙂

  3. 22/07/2011 1:52 am

    Who knew Comic Sans had such attitude? I knew there was a reason it is my favorite font and I use it to put text on all my blog photos 🙂

    • 02/09/2011 4:46 am

      Yes, it had me rolling in the aisle in laughter too… 🙂

  4. 22/07/2011 5:16 am

    GOD already knew it! He made the first top ten list of behavior rules, nowadays we would say “netiquette” (?)

    • 02/09/2011 4:47 am

      Yes and rules are meant to be broken…. especially where humor is concerned. 🙂

  5. 22/07/2011 5:41 am

    Funny funny funny!

    • 02/09/2011 4:48 am

      Glad you enjoyed the jokes. Come back soon. 🙂

  6. 22/07/2011 7:27 am

    What drew me in initially was the photo of the dog! Funny, funny stuff here, Eliz. i belly-laughed with the mouse and cheese (I Believe In MIracles) video! Too much! You made my day this morning. And, yes, I do like Top Ten lists–I often share with my cousins on Facebook. Pasa buen dia!

    • 02/09/2011 4:49 am

      I love top ten lists too and that mouse and cheese dance is a riot… I watch it every time I need a good laugh… The choreography was also brilliant. 🙂

  7. 22/07/2011 8:05 am

    This one is great! I may have to print it out and post on the fridge (where all my important papers are kept!) Thanks for another great post.

    • 02/09/2011 4:50 am

      You are welcome Cecelia!! Come back soon. 🙂

  8. 22/07/2011 8:35 am

    i absolutely love the top ten reasons of getting old, om going to post it on my blog. obviously i will give you full credit for your brilliant list!!! thanks for the giggle xx

    • 02/09/2011 4:51 am

      TY Tinkerbelle! Help yourself as it was sent to me and I wont claim authorship over it… I love that others can enjoy the posts and use what they need. TY! 🙂

  9. 22/07/2011 10:06 am

    i love this post – i have a funny video that i watch every morning and puts me a good mood every day – childish i know but it works!!

    • 02/09/2011 4:52 am

      Oh, you should share it here so we can enjoy it with you too. 🙂

  10. 22/07/2011 11:06 am

    The mouse had me laughing out loud. We all need a sense of humor to survive in this crazy world. I’m not a big fan of list posts for the most part, but this was worth it for the laughs.
    Thanks Eliz!
    b

    • 02/09/2011 4:53 am

      I’m glad you loved my favorite video on the list… It was a fun exercise and I should add more humor stuff to go with that “mirth” in my blog name. 🙂

  11. 22/07/2011 11:18 am

    Haha!!! Very funny! Like it! 🙂

    • 02/09/2011 4:54 am

      TY and I’m glad you laughed out loud! 🙂

  12. 22/07/2011 11:46 am

    Great post Eliz! Some people can be so stupid sometimes… and I can’t wait to get old if you put it like that 😉

    • 02/09/2011 4:55 am

      Oh, we will all get there sooner or later…. and it might not be a bumbling as the humorists claim… 🙂

  13. 22/07/2011 12:24 pm

    This is so FUNNY! Thanks, E!

  14. 22/07/2011 12:35 pm

    I’m laughing too much to write anything sensible

    • 02/09/2011 4:56 am

      TY dear and I was laughing too… TY for the additional laughter. 🙂

  15. 22/07/2011 5:20 pm

    Glad I finally found your site. . .I’ll subscribe so I can easily return! Keep on makin’ us laugh! (I left a comment on your FB page. . .)

    • 02/09/2011 4:57 am

      TY Paula, we are already following each other on WP but TY for the comment and all. Hope you are feeling better. 🙂

  16. 22/07/2011 5:36 pm

    Really funny stuff! Love the half a dozen and the car key! Some of the pictures aren’t showing for me though. I wonder if WP is have a glitch or two lately, as you found the links “blocked” on mine. Weird.

    Love the bonus one – I can feel all of that! 😆

    • 22/07/2011 5:38 pm

      Arrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhhhh – they are videos – they showed the second time I came to the page. Weird.

      • 02/09/2011 4:59 am

        Yes, videos and very funny ones at that… Watch them! 🙂

    • 02/09/2011 4:58 am

      No glitch as you might just need to refresh your page Robyn! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed the jokes…

  17. 22/07/2011 6:59 pm

    Aaaahahaha my favorite top ten list Ever!!! I’m still snickering as I write this!

    • 02/09/2011 4:59 am

      I’m glad you enjoyed the humor… More to come in the future… 🙂

  18. 23/07/2011 2:15 am

    I liked the farmer and the skinny dippers! And the cats yawning. Are they your cats? So precious. I’d seen the videos before but watched them again. Good music! 🙂

    • 02/09/2011 5:00 am

      No, the cats are not mine… though I do have a cat… Glad you enjoyed the post. TY! 🙂

  19. 23/07/2011 3:05 am

    I’m gonna have a hard time falling asleep now. Just finished reading your Top Ten list and the comments. Funny stuff, Eliz. Mouse/cheese, the alligator, Comic Sans, nine, ten and eleven get my votes. Thanks for the chuckle.

    • 02/09/2011 5:01 am

      Glad you enjoyed the post… We all need a good belly laugh every so often. 🙂

  20. 23/07/2011 7:14 am

    Interesting.I enjoyed all of them.:)

    • 02/09/2011 5:01 am

      TY Coco and I’m glad you enjoyed the jokes. 🙂

  21. 25/07/2011 4:19 am

    I love top 10 lists on topics I am itnerested in, but don’t know much about… as on topics I know a lot about peopl tend to disappoint me.
    But top 10 lists are totally amazing, I LOVE THEM, and I hope otehr people love them as well…
    HURRAY for TOP TEN LISTS!
    Although, i prefer top 5 lists, as sometimes it is very difficult to come up with 10 things…..

    • 02/09/2011 5:02 am

      Glad you enjoyed the post… I love lists but don’t write them all the time… TY! 🙂

  22. 25/07/2011 4:20 am

    I love top 10 lists on topics I am itnerested in, but don’t know much about… as on topics I know a lot about peopl tend to disappoint me.
    But top 10 lists are totally amazing, I LOVE THEM, and I hope other people love them as well…
    HURRAY for TOP TEN LISTS!
    Although, i prefer top 5 lists, as sometimes it is very difficult to come up with 10 things…..

  23. elmediat permalink
    26/07/2011 4:26 pm

    Funny – it lightened my day. If I may I will add another Mcnugget of humor. A young lady at the drive-thru hands the gentleman his meal. Instead of driving off he waits. When asked what the problem was, he said he was waiting for his gift, the free wiffy and points to the sign, ” We now have free WIFI.”. Enjoy the day !

    • 02/09/2011 5:04 am

      Ty for your funny comment and joke… I enjoyed yours and I’m happy my post lightened your day. TY! 🙂

  24. 03/03/2012 7:52 pm

    Font humor! I love it.

  25. 12/03/2012 6:06 pm

    Comic sans is my favourite font! Funny post!

    • 12/03/2012 7:34 pm

      TY Laura! I loved that vimeo too. It is hysterical. 🙂

  26. 27/03/2012 9:51 pm

    Love it! Are people really THAT thick? Or..is that fictional?

  27. 01/04/2012 7:35 am

    Thank you times ten. My husbands sense of humor keeps us married and I now have three men in my life to help me maintain balance. Wonder if the grands will inherit the funny bone gene. Life is good. Thank you eleven.

  28. 04/04/2012 4:43 am

    Great, now I know where to go to if I need a good laugh. If you like I can share some good ones too?
    My 5 year old daughter accidentally goes into the bathroom where my brother is taking a shower. She is fascinated and observes him for a little while. All over the sudden she grabs his p: “Give it back that belongs to my dad!”

  29. 18/04/2012 3:06 am

    When you catch up you really catch up!!! Ok when my son becomes Leader of the World you can have your own island! It’s a promise.

    • 18/04/2012 3:14 am

      Right…and I’ll gift you the Brooklyn Bridge! 🙂 I wish WP would attach our latest posts in those Like messages they send out… TY! 🙂

  30. 15/05/2012 11:06 pm

    Loved your post. Some great stuff here. My favourite is on-line shopping and the ATM thingy!

  31. 21/05/2012 9:58 am

    Humor is one of the most amazing tools we have for healing, getting through the tough spots in life and staying balanced, IMHO.

  32. 27/05/2012 3:38 pm

    How’s this for the list. A young girl (who shall remain nameless) was in Social Studies class and each student was being assigned a state on which they were to do a report. The young lady received West Virginia as her state and another student received Virginia. The girl raised her hand and asked what the boundaries were for her state. When asked asked what state she had, she said she had the western part of Virginia. True story.

  33. 09/06/2012 9:27 am

    Really funny #6 moment at the Wal-Mart with an item divider. I think we can all relate to that Cashier Girl – it’s easy to get absent minded, especially if things you have to do are so repetitive and mundane. lol

Trackbacks

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