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Musings: Ode To An Email Junkie…

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“I’m addicted to email, but other than that, there are practical things – being able to buy a book on the internet that you can’t find in your local bookshop. This could be a lifeline if you live further from the sources.”  Marilyn Hacker

Musings: Ode to an Email Junkie… A dash of humor and an itty bitty ditty

A tongue-firmly-planted-in-cheek ode…

The love affair began with that dinosaur – A
An aging mail maid with suspect kin
She danced before EJ’s novice eyes and signed her up without a sigh
Soon that chime-y voice announced “you’ve got mail” a hundred times.
EJ loved A back with vim and vigor, she was her first email provider, you know, go figure!
Over time, EJ felt the itch, to spread her wings for some new trick
She ventured off to meet other email folk; Opt on, Opt out, even MSNot now…
But soon found them all wanting and not quite her style

One day, EJ met that (lovely) Hotmail chick – A provider so hot it’s the UK’s biggest hit
And she soon signed up for her daily fix
Twas a slow day on the Internet and A was acting like she needed a probe
For a cheap date, Hotmail sure did deliver, easy mail across the globe
They kissed and hugged and became hot new friends
Connecting, uploading, loving and surfing
But soon, they tanked from too much schmoozing
Or was it the glitch from too much … downloading?

Fishing around for some tasty Wahoo
EJ scored a date with a dude on Yahoo
Soon she’d joined the throngs on Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle
And hung in there after her dude high-tailed it for some new miracle
When the going was good they’d listened to the sounds of The Who
And sent lovey dovey e-mails up the wazoo
She shoulda known that dude was just another yahoo
He had a nasty temper and a lousy tattoo
But soon she was back with that stinkin’ dude
Who made the lady act like a dog in a zoo

More below on this nonsensical, tongue-in-cheek email post inspired by the Weekly Writing Challenge from WP 😆

“Well I’m a longtime AOL subscriber and I love the whole thing. I’m an email junkie and I love the internet, though 7th Heaven doesn’t give me much free time to surf these days.” Stephen Collins

Musings: Ode to an Email Junkie… I can’t stand Spam email

Not one to be discouraged, EJ tuned out the fool
She’d found a new love on good ol’ Google
He courted her first with tunes on Youtube
Then uploaded vlogs to woo and impress her
She was quite touched that he vlogged on WordPress
For she thought he’d write her a Blogger post first
EJ hooked up a Gmail account and found all the features quite overwhelming
She wasn’t sure she wanted a Gmail profile…
Let alone make friends with strangers with + signs

One day EJ turned to a friend at the mall and said
“I miss the days when we only made phone calls!”
“I can’t stand the Viagra hawkers, the scammers with dead rich relatives.
I can’t stand the thieves, the lying penile extenders.
I can’t stand the work-at-home liars and the virus spreaders!”
“Don’t despair,” said the friend, to her dejected buddy,
“One day they’ll invent a chip to plant in your head
And zap out the s**t that comes through email. Be grateful your Gmail captures the scum.”

EJ considered her good friend’s sage advice
As up popped an instant message from her Gmail lover…
“Hey babe, tonight is the night… so please be nice!”
EJ sent a wink to her lover 😉 and then to her good friend she replied,
“I guess it’s not bad to keep this account, and my Y, H and A email accounts.
You never know who might try to reach you… I’d rather talk now than wait for a chip …”

So EJ has kept all her email accounts
And checks them quite often to chat and to frown
Maybe one day she’ll choose only one, delete the others, and toss the junkie crown…
Forever. We hope. And I’m tempted to say – whatever. Oy vey! 😉

Have an awesome weekend! 😉 Thank you for stopping by! What are your thoughts? What approach did you use for the challenge? Was it easy/hard to email your post? Did you attach photos for the prompt? Do share? Thank you!

*Please bear with me as I continue to catch up on your blogs and commenting… Thank you all for your patience! 🙂

This post was inspired by a prompt from WP Daily Post: Weekly Writing Challenge: Mail It In For this week’s challenge, use the Post by Email tool to create a new post touching on email, communication, and online correspondence. Go beyond how email may have changed how you communicate and dive into a specific example of a funny interaction, specific trends, or a detailed, comedic account of your email obsession.

Positive Motivation Tip: Email is a helpful tool for quick communication… but nothing beats reaching out and making physical contact with friends and family… Reach out and touch someone!  Didn’t AT&T say that? 😆

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: StripGenerator cartoon created by moi, All other Photos EmailEmail spam, via Wikipedia

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
“Insist on yourself. Never imitate.” Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

86 Comments leave one →
  1. 20/09/2012 9:08 pm

    I love this!

    • 20/09/2012 9:53 pm

      TY Julie! I’ve been away for a three day course and haven’t been online… Glad to be back and lots of catching up to do. TY for your feedback. 😉

    • 21/09/2012 4:02 pm

      TY all who have visited to check out my Freshly Pressed post! I am grateful for the visit! Also an explanation about the post: I have made the email providers into people/lovers and what you’re reading is not about a relationship with a real person but with a provider personified… 🙂
      Hope that helps explain it. A LIKE would be much appreciated as that is what this wonderful community is known for, showing blog love to all! TY! 🙂

  2. 20/09/2012 9:56 pm

    🙂 that was nice!

  3. 21/09/2012 3:03 am

    nice! this deserves to be FPed!

    • 21/09/2012 10:03 am

      TY Deepa and from your mouth to God and WP’s ears! 🙂

    • 21/09/2012 11:12 am

      OMG!!!!! Deepa, my post got Freshly Pressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TY God and WP’s ears, and TY All! 🙂

      • 21/09/2012 11:19 am

        Congratulations! Its well-deserved! such a brilliant post!

      • 21/09/2012 11:22 am

        Thank you for the positive buzz too! 🙂

  4. 21/09/2012 4:42 am

    Elizabeth – the best part of a great article is the Motivation Tip at the end.

    THAT is what I fear the younger generation are forgetting to do!

    • 21/09/2012 10:37 am

      I think we all need to work at it more… With so many new ways to communicate, it is getting harder to just reach out and touch. Miss you and will stop by soon! TY! 🙂

  5. 21/09/2012 6:06 am

    Yes to reach out and make contact can be so rewarding, welcome back. 😉

    • 21/09/2012 10:38 am

      TY Willowdor21! I love the community here and miss it when other demands force my hand… but I’m working on it. TY! 🙂

  6. 21/09/2012 6:19 am

    “Reach out and touch someone”
    Thank you, you did with this great post! 🙂

    • 21/09/2012 10:39 am

      TY Sunshine! I hope I reach and touch many, many more! 🙂

      • 21/09/2012 1:00 pm

        Congratulations, Elizabeth, I believe you will reach many!!! 🙂 woot!

      • 21/09/2012 1:07 pm

        TY Sunshine! I am positively stoked! This is a lovely gift for a post that made me laugh a lot as I struggled to finish it. 😆

      • 21/09/2012 11:45 pm

        Really, Elizabeth, YOU deserve this and many more…your work truly is amazing.
        I am soo happy for you! Yay!!

      • 22/09/2012 12:11 am

        You are so kind and thank you for the blog love and reciprocity all year. I truly appreciate it! 🙂

  7. Bree permalink
    21/09/2012 7:31 am

    This is awesome and I hope others read and enjoy the humor as much as I did. Excellent post and I bet we all know an EJ. She might even be us! 🙂

    • 21/09/2012 10:40 am

      Oh yes, I know a few EJs wink, wink. 😆 TY for your kind words. This was fun to do and I wrote and re-wrote it a few times … had fun too. 🙂

  8. Bree permalink
    21/09/2012 7:34 am

    How did you create the strip you used for the post? It is precious! Love it.

  9. Bree permalink
    21/09/2012 7:36 am

    I’m curious about what some of the other participants did. Didn’t Zemanta recommend any of them? This is truly spectacular!

    • 21/09/2012 11:26 am

      Oddly not, but I will add some from the WWC page… I usually read and like and/or comment on fellow participant posts anyway, so I’ll add links to some here. TY for the feedback. This was a lot of playful fun. 🙂

  10. 21/09/2012 8:36 am

    This is totally brilliant and makes me feel better – I’m not quite the i junkie I thought I was!

  11. 21/09/2012 9:10 am

    What a reflection! Thanks for Sharing your blog.

    • 21/09/2012 9:17 am

      Thank you for your feedback and I’ll be by to say hello! 🙂

  12. 21/09/2012 9:36 am

    This is great. Just great, of course I had to read it like three times! Thanks for the post…

    • 21/09/2012 9:51 am

      TY Jeremy! I appreciate your feedback… I tried to not make it completely rhyme so I could tell the story properly too… Oh, TY!! 🙂

  13. 21/09/2012 12:38 pm

    Congratulations on your Freshly Pressed! Keep it up!

    Thank you for all your encouragement on my post.

    I sent my last post via email too — it took me a while to get it right. And it was really worth it!

    • 21/09/2012 12:41 pm

      TY Janet and I love your blog too… It was work getting my post together, and then emailing it, and like you, it was worth it too! TY for the kind compliment. It was a wonderful shock to get Freshly Pressed and I am grateful!!! TY! 🙂

  14. 21/09/2012 1:31 pm

    So pleased to see that you’ve been freshly pressed. You deserve it – it’s been long overdue! Abstract.

    • 21/09/2012 1:33 pm

      TY Abstract! You rock and I appreciate the kind words… Will be making the rounds to you too. TY! 🙂

  15. 21/09/2012 1:48 pm

    My favourite bit:
    “One day they’ll invent a chip to plant in your head
    And zap out the s**t that comes through email…”
    It kind of fits in the category of inventions which includes the miniature vacuum cleaner to rid one’s face of blackheads…
    Formal congratulations on your Freshly Pressed status – here, in the right place. 😉

    • 21/09/2012 1:56 pm

      TY Allison! I’m glad you liked it because I wanted EJ’s friend to say something zany but probable; not the usual advice… I really had fun with this challenge and I enjoyed yours too! Congrats too! 🙂

  16. 21/09/2012 2:42 pm



    Keep in touch.

    • 21/09/2012 3:10 pm

      Hi Sony, TY for the congrats! Long time no see! How are ya? TY for checking in and I’ll be right by to see where you’ve been on your global hikes. TY! 🙂

      • 21/09/2012 9:29 pm

        I wish my hiking is gonna go global. Sadly, there are no mountains but desert in my area at the moment. I can’t even hike as often as I want because I’m in a place where there’s a thorough security laws if you know what I mean. It’s hard to be in a foreign land.

        Anyway, I’m doing great. Only, traveling is not as often back in my country.

        You so rocked that post. Kudos!

      • 21/09/2012 10:05 pm

        TY for the additional info and it’s a shame that travel is now so security driven and hard to do. Glad to hear from you, TY! 😉

  17. Bree permalink
    21/09/2012 5:46 pm

    Congratulations on getting Freshly Pressed!!! 🙂 delighted for you and hope others are too!

    • 21/09/2012 7:50 pm

      TY B! I’m grateful and wish everyone best wishes for same! It’s all good and soon I’ll be posting the Photo Challenge on “Solitary.” Perfect juxtaposition, no? 🙂

  18. 21/09/2012 6:17 pm

    Fun take on the challenge Elizabeth – and congrats again on being Freshly Pressed!
    I, too, have several email accounts – my original (since sometime in the 90’s, shared with my beloved), my own that I’ve had almost as long (for my notes to my girlfriends, my Kindle subscriptions, and past job hunting), and one on gmail for my blogging. I manage them all on Outlook, so I only have to go one place to check them!
    Bask in the glow of the day, my friend! 😉

    • 21/09/2012 7:51 pm

      TY dear one! Congrats again too! I’m glad to know that I’m not alone on the email accounts. 😆

  19. 21/09/2012 9:39 pm

    I mean, there are thorough security laws…

    • 21/09/2012 10:07 pm

      Yes, I hear you… Necessary but difficult for travelers. 😉

  20. 21/09/2012 10:05 pm

    Ohhhhhhhh. This is so good. I had the hots for all those too. I can’t access my hotmail anymore – no luck on my password. No clue what it is. I have about 7,000 in my gmail inbox. I seem to have a problem breaking up with the DELETE fella. 🙂

    • 21/09/2012 10:11 pm

      Oh you are funny! I have the same issue… Delete and I are tied at the hip. Phew Angelia! TY! You made my day. Glad to know someone with more email than me. I need to just do a massive delete and I need to do it for all of them soon. 🙂

  21. 21/09/2012 11:29 pm

    Great post Elizabeth! Indeed an email Junkie! I feel you, even if i am struggling not to be carried away! 😛

    • 22/09/2012 12:10 am

      TY Ioanna! It’s a riot to stay on top of it. 🙂

  22. 22/09/2012 4:10 am

    Like what you did for the challenge – and even though I did not grow up with email, I don’t know what I would do without it 🙂

    • 25/09/2012 9:18 pm

      You didn’t grow up with email? WoW! Yes, it is now a permanent fixture in our lives…

      • 26/09/2012 3:09 am

        Guess I have shown my age! 🙂

    • 26/09/2012 5:22 pm

      I was thinking, “Now here’s a young one… shielded from the big bad www.” 😆

  23. 22/09/2012 5:35 am

    Congratulations Eliz! Well deserved.
    Deepa is the one who brought me the glad tidings as well 😀

    • 25/09/2012 9:20 pm

      Deepa must have the Midas touch… Finally catching up after an exhausting weekend at the Summit and recovering from a cold. TY Madhu! 😉

  24. 22/09/2012 7:14 am

    I loved this post almost as much as my delete button.Congrats on being FP

    • 25/09/2012 9:25 pm

      TY Lexie! And good for you to love your delete button… I should make friends with mine. 😉

  25. 22/09/2012 9:33 am

    congrats for being freshly pressed (not you, your article) …

    • 25/09/2012 9:25 pm

      TY Frizztext and I’ve been AWOL and will be back on track now. 😉

  26. 22/09/2012 1:31 pm

    I love e-mail. It became my norm from usage at my job. I find, however, that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for computers and things of the net. More than once, my friends have chastised me for this. Why, because they don’t rely on e-mail to communicate. I just shrug them off with a get with the new age comment.
    Great post.

    • 25/09/2012 9:27 pm

      TY GJ! I can’t imagine a world without email… I did try to cut off internet access a couple of years ago when I was away and it was quite hard. 😆

  27. 22/09/2012 8:23 pm

    Congratz! Glad to have found your blog and got to know you before your fame. I love it when I see the blogs I follow get FP’ed.

    What’s the A off of Y, H and A? Angelfire?

    • 25/09/2012 9:29 pm

      Oh Rommel… I was trying to not give my friends at that provider a hard time… it’s the one with three letters … hint – begins with A 😆

  28. 23/09/2012 2:37 am

    Congrats on the Freshly Pressed! I’d read more of your blog but I need to go check my email… again. 😉 But I’ll be back.

    • 23/09/2012 8:29 am

      Thank you and I’ll be catching up later as it has been very hectic lately… 🙂

  29. 23/09/2012 12:27 pm

    Great post and a very big Congrats on Freshly Pressed 🙂

    • 25/09/2012 9:31 pm

      TY NN and apologies for my absence… I was at the Summit all weekend and on Monday then dealing with another cold… Catching up asap. 🙂

  30. 23/09/2012 9:05 pm

    OhMyGod – Congratulations on getting freshly pressed! 😀

  31. 24/09/2012 2:29 pm

    Loved it!

    • 25/09/2012 9:31 pm

      TY Marilyn for the feedback and support! 🙂

  32. 25/09/2012 6:50 am

    Doubly nice

    • 25/09/2012 9:33 pm

      TY Ce! It was a wonderful surprise and I am grateful for the FP exposure! 🙂

  33. 11/10/2012 12:07 pm

    This is FABULOUS! Congrats on being FPd. And thank you for liking my first Weekly Writing Challenge.

    • 13/10/2012 12:18 am

      TY Amirh for your comment and it’s always a pleasure to make new friends… This was an unexpected delight and I am grateful for it…. Now back to the grindstone of blogging! 🙂

  34. 19/10/2012 4:35 pm

    Very clever. I haven’t had time to dive into the weekly writing challenge. I haven’t even been able to keep up with my regular blogs. Speaking of blogs, thanks for stopping by again and Liking my Double Rainbow post:

  35. Angie permalink
    12/02/2019 5:31 am

    This is very insightful and loved the motivational tip at the end. Physical contact and face to face interaction is certainly unbeatable!


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