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Reflections: Think Before You Tweet!

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“The Internet is the first thing that humanity has built that humanity doesn’t understand, the largest experiment in anarchy that we have ever had.” Eric Schmidt

Reflections: Think Before You Tweet

Reflections: Think Before You Tweet

Internet Trolls: Think Before You Tweet
Our Mothers used to say: ‘Think before you Speak’ … add ‘Think before you Tweet’ to the list; better yet, think before you tweet or blog. The cloak of anonymity no longer protects you on the internet. Before August 6 1991, when the World Wide Web/Internet became publicly available, people found other ways to communicate their frustrations or to display inflammatory content. Once we gained access, armed ourselves with smartphones and iPads, and found ourselves spending much of our lives in transit, anarchy set in.

For years, people hid behind twitter handles, fake blog names, and even borrowed pictures. Some used that false sense of safety to fling salvos at each other and to terrorize, bully, and intimidate others. Before 1991, we didn’t have words like Cyber-stalking (adult to adult), Cyber-bullying (youth and adults), electronic aggression, Spamming, and internet trolls as part of our daily speech. Now we do.  When we think of horrifying news stories like the death by suicide of Tyler Clementi and other similar cases, we realize that those terms have become ubiquitous; terms like cyber-bullying  and cyber-stalking are now a given.

“October is National Bullying Prevention Month: The End of Bullying Begins with Me.” Campaign

Reflections: Think Before You Tweet! - Unite against bullying poster

Reflections: Think Before You Tweet! – Unite against bullying poster

Internet Trolls: Think Before You Tweet…

Internet Trolls: Think Before You Tweet…

Recently, a British woman who had spent the last 4 years sending thousands of angry, even hateful, tweets to Kate and Gerry McCann ( Madeleine McCann’s parents) was exposed by a staff reporter for Sky News. On Saturday, she was found dead at a Marriott hotel in Leicester, UK.  The woman, Brenda Leyland, who went by the Twitter name @sweepyface, started tweeting about the McCann’s in December 2010 because she felt others were offering ‘unhelpful and uninspired trolling.’ Over the course of 3+ years, she sent 4,625 messages, most of them about the McCann’s.  According to news sources, she sent 2,136 tweets this year and on some days sent out about 50 tweets attacking the McCann’s.

While some people might be outraged that Ms. Leyland was outed and that the media glare might have contributed to her death, others are wondering why the McCann’s didn’t sue or the authorities didn’t put a stop to the extreme level of tweet attacks.  What could have triggered such a prolonged attack? How could she have gotten away, for so long, with what is essentially a form of online harassment?  Sadly, we might never know as Ms. Leyland has passed away. One thing is clear, this was a classic case of electronic aggression gone wrong.

The problem with hiding behind assumed names on the internet is that it can turn ordinary people into raging aggressors. If the behavior is not halted, it can escalate and become life threatening for both the victim and the oppressor. Ms. Leyland’s story is a cautionary tale, and there are important lessons we can all learn from what happened. For starters, think before you tweet! Perhaps, as has been suggested by some of her defenders, she might have started her tweets as a way to up the ante on the McCann’s and bring more attention to a case that had already gone global. But, with no one to hold her accountable for her actions, it quickly got out of control. Have you or your child been a victim of internet aggression? Have you, at one time, been an internet troll or bully? Why?

More below!

“Arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker’s game because they almost always turn out to be—or to be indistinguishable from—self-righteous sixteen-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time.” Neal Stephenson

Internet Trolls: Think Before You Tweet…

Internet Trolls: Think Before You Tweet…

Playtime Trolls: an individual plays a simple, short game. Such trolls are relatively easy to spot because their attack or provocation is fairly blatant, and the persona is fairly two-dimensional.
Tactical Trolls: This is where the troller takes the game more seriously, creates a credible persona to gain confidence of others, and provokes strife in a subtle and invidious way.
Strategic Trolls: A very serious form of game, involving the production of an overall strategy that can take months or years to develop. It can also involve a number of people acting together in order to invade a list.
Domination Trolls: This is where the trollers’ strategy extends to the creation and running of apparently bona-fide mailing lists.

There was a time when Internet trolls held us hostage by hiding behind the facade of the world wide web; this was before Anonymous started teaching some of them a harsh lesson.  It seemed like an impenetrable wall and some took advantage of that wall to commit terrible, vicious, mean acts against others. The veil of anonymity is no longer guaranteed on the internet, and so, we must all be careful about what we say and do; especially when it is abusive to others. The Internet dictionary NetLingo suggests there are four grades of Trolling: playtime trolling, tactical trolling, strategic trolling, and domination trolling. Perhaps you, your child, or someone you know have been exposed to some form of trolling.  How did you handle it?

Regardless of the type of trolling you’ve experienced or used against others, it is abusive. In a report, the Centers For Disease Control,  CDC ,  pointed out that incidents of electronic aggression are growing and need to be curtailed.  The statistics they shared, (see in collage above), shows that 67% of electronic aggression comes through instant messaging. Because we use that tool quickly, often without thinking, there is the danger of saying the wrong thing.  Below are some suggested ways to address it at school and in your home.  What can You do?  If you are ever a victim of such attacks, don’t remain silent. Report it. Block the perpetrator and make sure that you document the abuse. If you are an abuser, please seek the help of a professional and find other ways to use your time. The days of complete anonymity are over.

What Can We Do? A PDF briefing from the CDC suggests ways schools and parents can work to get a handle on such incidents and reduce the occur­rence or negative impact of electronic aggression. Below are some highlights/headings of the suggested ideas on what to do. You can read the PDF above for more details. Have you or your child been a victim of internet aggression? Have you, at one time, been an internet troll or bully? Why? Do share.

Considerations for Educators/Administrators
Explore current bullying prevention policies | Work collaboratively to develop policies | Explore current programs to prevent bullying and youth violence.|
Offer training on electronic aggression for educators and administrators |
Talk to teens | Work with IT and support staff.| Create a positive school atmosphere.| Have a plan in place for what should happen if an incident is brought to the attention of school officials.|
Considerations for Parents/Caregivers.
Talk to your child.| Develop rules | Explore their internet Usage. | Talk with other parents/caregivers | Encourage your school/district to conduct a caregivers classes about electronic aggression | Keep current on Technology

Positive Motivation Tip: Internet aggression can escalate if not kept in check. Be vigilant. Watch your words and your tweets. Stay safe.

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos: Anti-bullying poster via, Trolls, watchful eyes, Indigo ribbon (honoring targeted individuals, CDC Stats, via Wikipedia from my Personal Collection.

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

96 Comments leave one →
  1. 07/10/2014 5:58 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. I was cyberstalked for 3 years. Had I slithered away as the person wished, I would never have discovered all the truth and been able to stop the situation. So, I take the entire subject incredibly serious and currently have a dear friend that is being stalked in local venues (as well as being cyberstalked). Unfortunately, social media has somehow made people feel as if they cannot be found, cannot have a libel or slander lawsuit brought against them and that their “Freedom of Speech” somehow protects them against criminal behavior. Cyberstalking laws have been written and are changing in the favor of the true victims every day. I only wrote of my ordeal once – an article I wrote for Yahoo and only after the whole situation was resolved. My best advice to anyone being harassed: Document everything. Do your research on the subject of cyberstalking/stalking. Stay 5 steps ahead. Knowledge is power.

    • 08/10/2014 12:04 am

      Thank you for your reply and personal insight. It is a growing problem and I’m so sorry that you had to endure such viciousness for three years. Please leave a link to your article here so I can add it as a reference. We need to get the word out. Action is power. Silence is death.

      • 08/10/2014 5:17 pm

        The following is based upon my personal experience and the research I conducted throughout the ordeal. There is so much more to my story. I have refrained from writing more of it, but I think perhaps I will share in the near future as it will hopefully empower others. Here is the link:

      • 10/10/2014 1:19 am

        Thank you so much for adding your voice and sharing your experience. I will add your link to the post. Your resources will be a blessing for others. Wishing you well and sending you healing love. Thank you!

      • 10/10/2014 10:59 am

        Thank you. Light to all who are dealing with this situation. Update: the cyberstalker of my friend has gone so far as to file an Order of Protection against my friend for cyberstalking. She is so delusional that she has taken the events of what she has been doing to my friend and twisted to say my friend was doing to her. NEVER TAKE CYBERSTALKERS FOR GRANTED. They will pull every trick in the book.

      • 10/10/2014 6:59 pm

        Truly disturbing and disturbed. Great point; don’t take what they do casually. Have a great weekend!

  2. 07/10/2014 10:54 pm

    I read the story about Mrs Leyland. But there is no ways that one can condone this kind of behaviour because she killed herself. I can just imagine how much pain trolls must cause Maddie’s parents and even if they had made a mistake they have paid for it over and over and over.To lose a child and then have to put up with abuse is criminal.

    • 07/10/2014 11:58 pm

      I couldn’t have said it better. Regardless of what people think they did, it does not justify such a level of aggression.

  3. 07/10/2014 11:04 pm

    Thanks Eliz for this piece, it’s becoming an increasingly urgent subject.

    • 07/10/2014 11:56 pm

      Thank you Gilly. A truly awful event. There are so many mean girls/women on the internet these days that this is a cautionary tale… Feel sad for her son/family and for the McCann’s

  4. 08/10/2014 4:30 am

    Reblogged this on THE STRATEGIC LEARNER.

  5. Robin (Masshole Mommy) permalink
    08/10/2014 9:22 am

    Exactly. I think that goes for any social media platform, though. Once it;s out there, it’s out there…..

    • 08/10/2014 12:01 pm

      I concur. People act in such vicious ways when they are behind a computer. The technology is such that we can no longer hide. I’m tempted to say: Mean Girls take note but I don’t want to include Ms. Leyland in that category as she was operating on a whole new level. So sad.

      • casavilorainteriors permalink
        08/10/2014 10:59 pm

        This is so true. Why people do it in the first place bewilders me

  6. 08/10/2014 10:57 am

    Thanks for this great post. Bullying has become such an epidemic, and internet trolls are the worst. This is just one of many horrible cases of extreme bullying out there. That’s the saddest part.

    • 08/10/2014 11:59 am

      Yes, I’m with you Ben. Sadly, the lady ended up dead. WE need to do a better job of monitoring behavior on the internet. TY!

  7. 08/10/2014 11:37 am

    This type of bulling scares me most with my kids as they get order. We cannot shelter them from the Internet forever, although I may try! Thank you for this informative blog, I hope that this type of crime is taken more seriously in the future when we figure out how to regulate this crazy web.

    • 08/10/2014 12:05 pm

      I’m with you on this one as it’s very scary… One article I read said Internet trolls are pathological and need psychiatric help. I’m not a doctor so I didn’t quote it in my article but it sounds true to me.

  8. 08/10/2014 11:44 am

    This type of bullying worries me more as my kids get older! We cannot shelter them from the Internet forever- it’s such a slippery slope. I hope that as more people speak out, more legislation will be created. Thanks for the post.

  9. 08/10/2014 12:33 pm

    Trolling is terrible and a real problem. I personally think bullying should be called assaults and dealed as such. Not coddled and understood.

    • 10/10/2014 1:27 am

      I agree. In some circles, they see it as coming of age behavior rather that what it truly is: criminal behavior.

  10. rmanea permalink
    08/10/2014 1:36 pm

    This is why i fear for my kids on social media.. there are so many trolls out there it makes you think before you allow them on.

  11. 08/10/2014 1:54 pm

    It is so easy for people to act so brave and opinionated behind their keyboard, it is really a disgrace.

  12. ninasaysblog permalink
    08/10/2014 1:56 pm

    People are so brave behind their keyboards, it is really sad.

  13. Ronnie Epstein permalink
    08/10/2014 3:09 pm

    I was bullied online as a teenager by people from my class.. it was awful. 🙁 I can’t even imagine what it would be like nowadays with all the social media going on, which wasn’t active back then. I’ve seen Facebook groups used to bully kids from my cousin’s and sister’s schools… so awful…

    • 10/10/2014 1:24 am

      I’m so sorry to read that you were a victim of cyberbullying. It is a pity that some use this medium in such a negative way. We need more legal intervention as well.

  14. loisaltermark permalink
    08/10/2014 3:18 pm

    This is such an important topic. It’s amazing what people feel they can write as they hide behind their computers.

  15. 08/10/2014 3:41 pm

    One option practiced in our home with a teen is not participating in FB or twitter. Are people bullying my teen or me through these venues? Who knows. But as I tell my teen, at least you don’t have to read it.

    • 10/10/2014 1:22 am

      So good to hear from you Freedom! Long time no see, must stop at your blog again for a visit. I’m really glad to hear from you and yes, staying away from too much social media access is one way to stay out of the gaze of an angry troll.

  16. Tonya C permalink
    08/10/2014 4:39 pm

    Thanks for posting this. People are so much more apt to leave a nasty remark via social media than face to face. Bullying is a real problem.

  17. Melissa Smith permalink
    08/10/2014 5:26 pm

    Tons of people hide behind their computer screens to belittle or harass others. I fell sad for them that they think they have to do this to feel better about themselves.

  18. 08/10/2014 5:28 pm

    I really agree with your article. Some people really need to control how they tweet and most importantly, think. Cyber bullying has really negative impacts.

  19. Close To Home (@StayCloseToHome) permalink
    08/10/2014 5:45 pm

    My kids are not on twitter yet but I know that there have been issues at her school before.

  20. 08/10/2014 6:10 pm

    We’ve become so advanced with our technology and the Internet, you’d think we would have also increased consequences for those that abuse it, or put better measures in place to end cyber-bullying. I feel really sorry for kids that fall victim to cyber-bullying.

  21. 08/10/2014 6:18 pm

    Great, informative article. Another reminder of how scary the internet can be. It’s awful that not only do we have to worry about our kids potentially being bullied at school but also on the internet.

  22. 08/10/2014 6:24 pm

    You really hit the nail on the head with this post! As wonderful as social media is and how many opportunities it has given us, it can still be a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands.

  23. 08/10/2014 6:36 pm

    I’ll be wearing orange 10/22!! There needs to be a stop to all forms of bullying!

  24. KatyRose permalink
    08/10/2014 6:36 pm

    I teach classes for high school students about social media and I always, always stress the idea of thinking before they write anything – especially online. It’s much too easy to say things we would never utter outloud and we never know how our words are impacting another for the worse. – Katy

  25. Kathleen Bunn permalink
    08/10/2014 7:29 pm

    I hate that people think they can use the Internet as a way to bully without being exposed. I let Internet trolls’ comments just run off my back anymore, it isn’t worth arguing with them.

  26. 08/10/2014 8:15 pm

    Bullys and Trolls are so ridiculous! Seriously where do they find time to do this crap? These children have way too much freedom and too much unstructured/free time. My brother was a victim of bullying from middle school til he started high school and my mom found a great “alternative” school for him. As an older sister, it was so hard to not storm up to school to scold the child(ren) bullying him.

  27. 08/10/2014 8:26 pm

    So scary! Thanks so much for sharing. My daughter is 11 and we talk about this all the time

  28. Dawn McAlexander Crawford permalink
    08/10/2014 9:40 pm

    I always try stressing to my daughter how important it is to be careful about what she says and does on social medias. This story is very scary because there is never a sure way to protect your children on the internet.

  29. 08/10/2014 10:34 pm

    Tehnology makes it possible for bullying to reach us in our homes where we once thought we were safe.

  30. 09/10/2014 12:48 am

    I’ve been subjected to bullying too, when people hack my accounts repestedly, and it is actually quite difficult to track and solve. As the police once told me that they will have to seize all my devices to do a thorough check if I’m to lodge a report… The hassle deters people…

  31. julianarw (@julianarw) permalink
    09/10/2014 12:49 am

    Thanks for the post. Bullying is always become my concern for my boys too. As a mother, I just want to protect them. Mostly I twitter about my products 😀

  32. phyliciamarie permalink
    09/10/2014 2:05 am

    This type of bullying is very bothersome. If you’re not tech-savvy, it’s difficult to track down these predators because they hide under a lot of internet aliases

  33. 09/10/2014 3:00 am

    I think this is the age to be socially responsible. We should really watch what we tweet and post. It’s always a reflection of who we are.

  34. Jess Ca permalink
    09/10/2014 3:34 am

    Thanks so much for sharing this story – I think the first step to combating the problem is building awareness so we can all help to make a change.

  35. Debbie Denny permalink
    09/10/2014 3:51 am

    The internet is the place to be responsible. Once it is out, it is there forever.

  36. Alisha Kostiuk permalink
    09/10/2014 4:51 am

    I always say you can be anything you want to be over the internet. People think it is fine to hide behind their electronics and act any way they wish, but many times has major affects on others.

    • 09/10/2014 9:46 pm

      Very true Alicia. One thing I’ve learned is do not back down from a bully. Speak out. Defend yourself. Report it.

  37. 09/10/2014 5:11 am

    Because of the world we live in these trolls are taking it to another level.. thanks for the post and the info..

  38. 09/10/2014 7:44 am

    In this day and age, and with all the location settings in the phone, cyber-stalking can turn into real time stalking and that is really scary.
    While it is fortunate that stalking is illegal in Singapore, this behaviour is still easily cultivated online and subconciously.

    Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, past friends, even your boss or subordinates can easily be stalked online and sometimes we do it without conciously knowing we are doing it and when it turns obssessive, it is going to be a real ugly problem.

    As a blogger or online writer, integrity and ethics are number one. You definitely don’t want to cultivate negative behaviour, but influence positive behaviours.

    • 09/10/2014 9:44 pm

      I agree with you Priscilla. I also believe that when someone attacks or stalks you, you must speak out and defend yourself

  39. 09/10/2014 7:45 am

    I’ve heard of slander suits from Tweets. Not sure they could do that w/kids, but that’s what I thought of when reading. Kids take so much to heart, that even a ill-meant Tweet can affect them. I teach my kids to think before Tweeting (and Facebooking too).

    • 09/10/2014 9:42 pm

      Oh they can sue a minor who is maligning another person by attaching the suit to the parents. When a kid is involved, they sue the parents. Being a kid isn’t a free pass, but the bigger, more disturbing issue is when adults stalk and/or harass as in the case above.

  40. 09/10/2014 8:26 am

    I am always trying to explain to people that if you would not say it to someone face to face, then do not put it online either.

  41. 09/10/2014 9:43 am

    It is scary how prevalent online bullying has become! My mom just did’t have to deal with this and we definitely will with our kids!

  42. 09/10/2014 10:11 am

    This is such a sad story, in every way. Absolutely, proper and respectful codes of behavior need to be addressed within the interwebs. But how is this accomplished, when identities can be so easily obsured?…

  43. Ann B (@AnnBac9) permalink
    09/10/2014 1:58 pm

    I have been attacked by internet trolls and it is not fun. People are so brave when they are hiding behind their keyboards.

  44. Carly Anderson permalink
    09/10/2014 6:50 pm

    We all definitely should be watching what we post anywhere on the internet. Bullying is much too common these days.

  45. 09/10/2014 10:24 pm

    I have also experienced ‘bullying’ in the net recently. It’s really disturbing especially that it comes from a person you wouldn’t expect to have it coming from. So I blocked this person in my Facebook and I wrote a post in my blog.

    We should stand up against bullies!

  46. 09/10/2014 10:35 pm

    How is it that technological advancement was supposed to ease our daily lives but it seems to bring on more problems? This is so sad that we have to worry about stuff like this.

  47. Maria Iemma permalink
    10/10/2014 5:57 am

    We should think before tweeting and think before speaking. It is so easy to hurt someone’s feelings with the wrong words.

  48. 10/10/2014 7:16 am

    Ms. Leyland’s story is indeed a cautionary tale, a great reminder to all of us to think before we tweet.

  49. 10/10/2014 7:19 am

    Leyland’s story is indeed a cautionary tale, a great reminder to all of us to think before we tweet.

  50. TrippyCusp93 permalink
    10/10/2014 8:55 am

    Thanks for sharing this informational and insightful article. Bullying is a real problem and is even more so now that the world wide web exists. The anonymity the internet provides makes interaction impersonal and the bully becomes even more disconnected to their victim. I think we all need to stand up to the bully whenever we see harassment going on and let them know it is not okay.

  51. 10/10/2014 9:02 am

    Insightful article and gives us how deep and wide spread this is. Thanks to the first commenter as well for leaving a link for the resources, I’m sorry to hear though that she had to experience stalking for years.

    As a parent to a young child, I fear of this immensely especially when our son starts getting connected online.

  52. Sonja Samples permalink
    10/10/2014 9:43 am

    It’s sad that this is occurring more and more in the world we now live in. I pray kids & parents can get off social media some & especially when it comes to being hurtful.

  53. 10/10/2014 1:25 pm

    the problem with the internet is that it makes us faceless, anonymous, qand therefore powerful. it does not create bullies, but reinforces behaviours with the lack of personal accountability.

  54. maggiesblog2 permalink
    10/10/2014 3:55 pm

    If you down want it said or tweeted to you or about you, then don’t do it! Remember the golden rule!

  55. 10/10/2014 4:15 pm

    A must-be-followed cyber ethics! Think before you click. Think before you Tweet. Remember, we should be responsible for all our actions in reality and even virtually.

  56. Heather NC permalink
    10/10/2014 6:24 pm

    This is a great topic, it’s so easy for people to now use the internet to bully.

  57. angela smith permalink
    10/10/2014 8:08 pm

    back in the day when i was in school i got picked on.luckily i had a big brother in the same school i could threaten them you dont have to worry about just what happens at have to worry about these bullies getting you email addy or getting onto your facebook page and your twitter page.its so much worse these days

  58. June S. permalink
    11/10/2014 7:44 am

    (Reflections: Think Before You Tweet!) I personally never do any tweets other than the ones I do for the giveaways on blogger sites. But I am constantly reminding my daughter to NEVER text while driving-

  59. Sojourner Walker (@sojossojourns) permalink
    11/10/2014 12:27 pm

    How unfortunate. It’s amazing to me, how much time and energy some people put towards hateful, negative and spiteful behavior. There are so many ways be mean now thanks to the internet. I worry for my kids and hope that I’ll always be tech savvy enough to keep track of what they’re doing.

  60. Betsy Barnes permalink
    11/10/2014 12:44 pm

    This is a welcome post, it’s so very important to think before you post anywhere. Years ago, I felt a bit of cyber bullying during my time working for a political organization. Even from family members. I finally realized that it was easy for me to respond back, yet it made it worse. Since this experience, I never respond to anything, especially from those that I know are bullies. Every now and then, a few will try to get me to respond, I just ignore.

  61. 11/10/2014 9:29 pm

    “October is National Bullying Prevention Month: The End of Bullying Begins with Me.” Let me spread these words on WWW

  62. 12/10/2014 12:46 pm

    Thank you for your information. I dont get around alot on the internet. It just mainly do my sweepstakes

  63. katrinagehman permalink
    12/10/2014 3:49 pm

    I think we all need to double and sometimes tripple check before you say something online

  64. 12/10/2014 7:09 pm

    Thanks for sharing. I believe people should really think twice and carefully before they post or shared anything on the internet. We all like to think it’s easy to keep ourselves anonymous in the virtual but this is no more the case.

  65. 12/10/2014 7:44 pm

    Everyone just tweet and tweet and tweet… And will continue tweeting!~

  66. upliftingfam permalink
    12/10/2014 8:57 pm

    Great tips and suggestions. I know that when I share something on any social media that I will never please everyone. I usually just ignore the naysayers and negative people.

  67. 13/10/2014 10:39 am

    Thanks for sharing this one. It is even more of a scary world now that we live in with all these technologies we have. I have read and heard some sad and devastating stories about bullying, cyber-bullying and what not. I do agree on think before you tweet. Or think before we speak. Unfortunately, some people are just inconsiderate, rude, and tactless. Bullying is a raising concern.

  68. Vanessa Ally permalink
    13/10/2014 10:40 am

    Being bullied over the Internet is a serious issue that a lot of people have faced recently, Facebook also turns into a source for giving trouble to people, spying them and sending them abusive messages. Unfortunately, I personally experienced that, too.

  69. 13/10/2014 11:38 am

    great post, i agree cyber bully is such an epideminc and we as parents, even for ourselves have to be vigilant of our online presence. being a proactive parent and teaching children whas is correct and incorrect behavior on and off line.

  70. rizanoia permalink
    17/10/2014 3:04 pm

    This is a nice post for antibullying campaign and other things that are currently happens in this world.

  71. 19/10/2014 4:06 am

    I wish this one will be spread. Cyber bullying is growing and I hope the government will make this a law.

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