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Reflections: Heartaches To Heal…

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“The ache of grief is always there, but the emptiness will lift one day. Their life to us the greatest gift, and only by living can it be repaid.”  Jill Pendley

Reflections: Heartaches To Heal...

Reflections: Heartaches To Heal…

REMEMBER by Christina Rossetti
Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann’d:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad. via

The unfathomable tragedy that unfolded in Newtown, Connecticut, has left a deep crevice in our hearts. Some of us have expressed our horror in tears and outrage, others in numbness and silence.  All need grief counseling and healing… I still weep for the victims. It will take time… The poems above and below have offered me solace in times of sorrow. My heart goes out to all the victims and families of this senseless massacre. My  prayer is that we all reach out and offer comfort to those around us. We can each touch a heart and help begin the healing process. How are you coping?

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (in Victoria’s case, her 1st grade students) John 15:13

Reflections: Heartaches To Heal... Victoria Soto

Reflections: Heartaches To Heal… Victoria Soto

THEN JOY STEPPED IN by Wilhelmina Stitch
Said she, ‘I will not live with grief from morrow unto morrow.  My heart cries out for some relief, ‘Good-bye, my little sorrow.’
She closed the windows of her home and pulled down every blind. ‘I’m going forth, ‘ she cried, ‘to roam. You, Grief, can stay behind.’
‘And I’ll be gone the livelong day, expect me back to-night.’

Grief wanly watched her go away into the warmth and light; With quickened step and brightened eyes she mingled with the throng.
Instead of pale Grief’s moans and sighs she heard Endeavor’s song.  She saw a sister, crossed the road and asked her how she fared:
Then helped to lift her heavy load and in the burden shared.

Throughout the day Self was suppressed whilst Service took its place. When she returned at night to rest – of Grief there was no trace!
But Joy stepped forth and sweetly said, ‘May I now be your friend instead? via

In times of great distress or sadness, people look for answers, heroes, and ways to help.  We ask lots of questions… Why did Adam commit such a heinous act? Why the children? Why the staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School? We might not have the answers, but we can find comfort in the brave effort made by several staff members of Sandy Hook school.  1st grade teacher, Victoria Soto, gave her life so her students might live. She tried to shield her students and usher them into a closet when the gunman entered her classroom. RIP courageous staffers... RIP to the 20 children and all the adults.  Offer someone a hug or a comforting word… More below

Death leaves a heartache difficult to heal; Love leaves sweet memories no one can steal.” On A Tombstone in Ireland, dated 1889

Reflections: Heartaches To Heal...

Reflections: Heartaches To Heal…

“Tears are the silent language of grief” – Voltaire

DO NOT WEEP by Mary Elizabeth Frye
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die. via Wikipedia

I hope these poems for bereavement help you as they have helped me.  I still weep for the victims. It will take time… May healing light and divine love embrace us all; let us all send out a quiet prayer for global healing… If you get the urge, send a card to someone in a care facility and help with the healing.  There is no doubt the subject of gun control, especially access to assault weapons, must be addressed.  How we assist people struggling with mental health issues is imperative too…   Blessings to all!

*Please bear with me as I continue to catch up on your blogs and commenting… Thank you all for your patience!

Positive Motivation Tip: In times of great pain, healing can begin with us… Offer someone a hug or a comforting word.

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos  White RoseAngel of grief, via Wikipedia,  Victoria Soto via and/or my personal collection. Poems for bereavement via

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

63 Comments leave one →
  1. 16/12/2012 8:50 am

    Absolutely beautiful poems. Just incredibly touching. The death of a child is the most terrible thing, so hard to accept or understand. I woke up this morning thinking of the families of the dead children, and what a grief-stricken Christmas they will have – and many more sad Christmases – without their child’s voice. Maybe they had already bought Christmas presents for them. It made me cry to think of that. There are no words. But THANK YOU for your beautiful, thoughtful post and the exquisitely chosen photos, too. Lots of love.

    • 16/12/2012 10:07 am

      Thank you Petchary… “The death of a child is the most terrible thing, so hard to accept or understand.” You are so right… Even as a parent, I can’t begin to fathom the extent of their pain… Sad, very sad. {{{HUGS}}}

  2. 16/12/2012 8:52 am

    My hear grieve for the victims and theirs families. Victoria’s story showed the world what laying down ones life for the people sha loves meant. I can hold back my tears this morning as I watched the photos of those who died. My thoughts and prayers to the victims and their families. A very moving and comforting post. Thanks.

    • 16/12/2012 10:08 am

      TY IT! Like you I’m having a hard time watching without tears… such a horrific act and during the holiday season. {{{HUGS}}}

  3. 16/12/2012 9:42 am

    A lovely memorial post Elizabeth

    • 16/12/2012 10:09 am

      TY A! it’s been just awful…. the anguish of those families is unimaginable… {{{HUGS}}}

  4. 16/12/2012 10:31 am

    i still have no words, it’s beyond anything.

    • 16/12/2012 10:50 am

      You are quite right… beyond description… {{{HUGS}}}

  5. 16/12/2012 11:52 am

    I can’t even begin to grasp why someone would commit such a horrible act. I watch, I shake my head, I cry.

    • 16/12/2012 11:54 am

      Unbelievable… it is so horrific that one imagines it is a dream… surreal. {{{HUGS}}}

  6. 16/12/2012 1:14 pm

    The last poem is my favorite. Such a beautiful way to imagine death. Not as loss, but constant presence.

    • 16/12/2012 1:25 pm

      Yes… and I was touched by that one especially… TY!{{{HUGS}}}

  7. 16/12/2012 1:50 pm

    I’m taking your positive motivation tip to hear–{{{Hugs}}}
    I hadn’t heard about Victoria Soto, but when I saw the picture I thought of an angel before I read her story. I find solace in your blog as always, but especially today.

    • 16/12/2012 2:12 pm

      TY Kozo! The whole thing is such a nightmare… those harmless kids and their teachers… Just awful! The FOCUS:PEACE sessions are a blessing… {{{HUGS}}}

  8. 16/12/2012 2:25 pm

    I just can’t believe what a nightmare this all is. Your words are very insightful as always.

  9. 16/12/2012 2:27 pm

    It’s amazing to me how personal this terrible tragedy feels. I just keep repeating to myself, “children. why?” We may all drive ourselves insane trying to make sense of it all, but clearly we need advances and options in mental health care, not to mention gun control.
    Thanks for the poems Elizabeth, and for your caring heart.

    • 16/12/2012 3:05 pm

      TY Barb and I must add the mental health component to the post… It is imperative… TY! {{{HUGS}}}

  10. 16/12/2012 2:37 pm

    I can’t shake this feeling. I really am grieving. So sad, so tragic. It pains me so much of that monstrosity. It truly is unfathomable.

    • 16/12/2012 3:06 pm

      Same here Rommel, because as a parent, I keep seeing those helpless, harmless kids and it breaks my heart…. TY! {{{HUGS}}}

  11. 16/12/2012 2:45 pm

    These are beautiful poems and such a wonderful tribute to all. You are so kindhearted for posting this – we need every positive thought available to us at this time…

    • 16/12/2012 3:08 pm

      TY Dianne! I haven’t slept and my spirit is saddened… I pray we move together to heal as these events are growing… {{{HUGS}}}

  12. 16/12/2012 4:01 pm

    A wonderful message and poems for those who grieve. My prayers are with the families at this difficult time.


    • 16/12/2012 5:17 pm

      TY! And mine too… These are hard times.{{{HUGS}}}

  13. 16/12/2012 4:15 pm

    Elizabeth, thank you so much for the poems and the comfort you’ve extended through your post. I very much appreciate the time you’ve taken to create this loving tribute to those no longer with us.

    • 16/12/2012 5:19 pm

      TY Allyson! It has been a painful weekend for many… {{{HUGS}}}

  14. 16/12/2012 4:34 pm

    Your poems are a comfort during this time Elizabeth. Thank you for sharing them.

  15. 16/12/2012 5:43 pm

    Thank you – this is a lovely post. Tears do help. I love the Voltaire quote, “Tears are the silent language of grief”
    Here’s a post I just did on how to cope with grief during the holidays:
    Hope it helps someone.

    • 16/12/2012 5:56 pm

      TY for your comment and link… I appreciate very much. I hope it helps some too. {{{HUGS}}}

  16. 16/12/2012 9:45 pm

    Its just me again…thanking you for a great year… You made my 2012 wonderful. Thank you!

    • 18/12/2012 2:54 pm

      TY Sunshine… You have been a joy to know too! {{{HUGS}}}

  17. 17/12/2012 12:23 am

    A very timely post. There are lots of things in it that can make us feel better in our grief. Very healing and comforting. Thanks for this.

    • 18/12/2012 2:54 pm

      TY so much and so happy to see you here… 🙂 How are you? Hope all is well… Will stop by soon. TY! {{{HUGS}}}

  18. 17/12/2012 3:26 am

    I was in front of my TV, here in France and this tradegy moved me a lot ! I could not understand how these war weapons could be in the hands of a teenager. I pray from some change and I pray for these innocents victims. Hope that the violence will end…violence is like a cancer. in our societies…we need to find a therapy !

    • 18/12/2012 2:55 pm

      WE need to find lots of way to end this awful, recurring event. TY! {{{HUGS}}}

  19. 17/12/2012 5:50 am

    Victoria Soto – her courage should remain as unforgettable and as a starting point to change gun law …
    greetings by

    • 18/12/2012 2:56 pm

      True… she and other teachers/staff gave their lives… {{{HUGS}}} .

  20. 17/12/2012 9:07 am

    A heart rending post, Elizabeth. The whole tragedy is senseless adn my heart goes out to the families of the victims.

    • 18/12/2012 2:58 pm

      Same here Cee! It is so sad… Love and hugs to all. {{{HUGS}}}

  21. 17/12/2012 9:56 am

    this is a beautiful post and offers healing words of comfort. it is surely difficult to live where the news keeps replaying that horrible day, and the emotional wounds keep reopening.
    there are lessons for all of us – but we are all reminded to treasure our loved ones and tell them that we love them.
    thanks for the lovely post,

    • 18/12/2012 3:00 pm

      TY Z! We must treasure our loved ones… and compassion goes a long way too. {{{HUGS}}}

  22. Bree permalink
    17/12/2012 12:11 pm

    My prayers and condolences go out to the victims and families touched by this tragedy. May peace and healing prevail.
    Its a sad set of days in America,

    • 18/12/2012 3:00 pm

      {{{HUGS}}} I agree. May peace and healing prevail. We need it TY!

  23. 17/12/2012 2:06 pm

    I feel for the parents, brother/sister, family… I don’t know how they are copying of burying their own young kids…

    • 18/12/2012 3:03 pm

      I don’t either… can’t imagine. so, sad… {{{HUGS}}}

  24. 17/12/2012 8:47 pm

    Nice poems,very touching worlds apart but our prayers and condolences to all families.

  25. 18/12/2012 12:27 am

    It is just too terrible.

    • 18/12/2012 3:04 pm

      It is Tilly and when you see the setting, it is such a beautiful welcoming space… {{{HUGS}}}

  26. 18/12/2012 11:58 am

    Thank you for these poems – I really love – “Then Joy Stepped In”.

    • 18/12/2012 3:06 pm

      TY Bluebee! I really loved that one too. It says it all… {{{HUGS}}}

  27. 18/12/2012 2:46 pm

    I’m having a hard time with all this still. Raw feeling.

  28. 20/12/2012 9:31 am

    This mishap… so horrible and cruel! It causes so much pain to many parents… Of course, time heals and the support of the others too. We must always show that we care, that we are there.

    • 21/12/2012 2:11 pm

      I agree with you D! We do need to see that when one of us is hurting, all of us are affected… as members of the human family.


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