“No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” Robert Holden, Ph.D.
Reflections: Acceptance & Our Happiness Quotient…
TED Talk: Michael Norton: How to buy happiness
Robert’s thought for the day: Without acceptance, anger will enrage you. Without acceptance, guilt will shame you. Without acceptance, anxiety will torment you. Without acceptance, sadness will depress you. Without acceptance, loneliness will isolate you. Without acceptance, love cannot love you.
“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter
If you have ever struggled with self-acceptance, you know that it is a state of mind that is in constant flux. One day we are happy and at peace, and then, the next day the anxieties and insecurities surface… I was reading Robert Holden of Shift Happens Daily Inspiration today, and the message he shared was so powerful that I had to post on it. Until we accept ourselves for who and what we are, the healing and happiness that is rightfully ours to enjoy will not flourish. As I looked for ways to write this post, I came across Stacey’s statement; equally powerful.
Part of our struggle with self-acceptance comes from cultural expectations that limit individual movement, behavior and/or definitions of beauty. Why are some of us happier than others? Why is Denmark the happiest country in the world? In the research conducted by WorldValuesSurvey.org, they found that “the extent to which a society allows free choice has a major impact on happiness.” When we are not being judged about our choices, we are more accepting of who we are and our limitations. Where are you on that conversation of self acceptance? Do you see your life as abundant and fulfilling? Oprah offers a tool to help us see where we are. Take the Abundance Test. Try it.
“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” Oprah Winfrey
Reflections: Acceptance & Our Happiness Quotient… Acceptance first.
The work ethic conditions you to believe you have to earn happiness. The suffering ethic teaches you that you have to deserve happiness. The martyr ethic insists you have to pay for happiness. The miracle ethic gently reminds you that happiness is free—there are no conditions. Robert Holden
Do you have a martyr ethic? What about a miracle ethic? How does our choice impact our ability to accept ourselves and move our lives forward? When I was preparing this post, I looked in my files and found that I’ve written on this subject before… more than once. Accept Your Own Beauty and Appreciating Our Bodies & Ourselves tackle the subject of how our happiness is tied to our perceptions of ourselves… I come back to it again because I speak to young women and older ones who are torn by their body image and are miserable because of it… Is that what happiness is? Not entirely. However, if we are constantly nitpicking our way through life and at how we look, our happiness quotient is reduced significantly. There is a level of peace that comes with self-acceptance and happiness has a home there too. Here’s another Oprah offering: Take The Happiness Test to find out… More below. 
