Chaka Khan – I’m Every Woman
Dear 100 Year Old Me … and anyone out there listening,
What a grand way to celebrate my big day! I always knew I’d live long but heck, not this long. I made it; even outlived that whippersnapper who asked me at my 80th why I was still writing books! I’ve written 18 books and still have some in the works. My friend, countingduck, knows a man in his 80s who still writes… Sheesh, you think getting old is terrible? Consider the alternative and remember you’ll be either old some day or the alternative… but let me not get ahead of myself… I got some celebrating to do.
Today, I officially join the Centenarian Club. But listen, 100 is the new 78… At least, that’s what my great grandson Timmy told me this morning when I asked, “If 50 is the new 30, what is 100?” “Oh GG!” he said, (they call me GG for great granny), “Don’t make it too obvious for people to figure out…that way they’ll ask why 78?”. Timmy is right. My life sure did start again at 78. Grab a chair, sit awhile. I got a few stories left in this head of mine. I promise not to meander. The body might not be willing but the mind is still sharp as a whip.
“For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress, and as the evening twilight fades away, the sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Aging might be overrated, but nothing beats having your engines revved up at any age. See, in case you’re still guessing, I was born in 1913, somewhere uptown. My daddy said Harlem, my mama said Washington Heights… Both liked a stiff drink or three, so who knows what they remembered; it doesn’t matter where… Fact is I was born. I went to church school where I met and married Boniface at 18. We were church school friends and found our way out of Sunday School into bedroom school. Long story short, we raised 4 kids, had a great time together with a few fights thrown in.
50 years later, Boniface keeled over and left me to fend for myself. I did get his mailman pension but I was on my own. 68 and on my own with my three sons and one daughter scattered around the world. I was feeling lonely so my girlfriends introduced me to Jim. He was a swell guy; a decade or so younger and a retired career military man and all… only problem was Jim never left the war. WWII? Vietnam? I had no idea. He had nightmares and night-sweats; Poor chap! But in the daytime we had a lot of fun; parties, dances, movies, a bit of travel and the occasional fishing trip.
One day, around my 75th birthday, he declared he was going on a reconnaissance mission and never came back. Months later, they found his body in the Hudson River… Poor Jim. He was a good man. Jim and I never married so there was nothing to collect. I mourned him and had to move on… time was
running out moving on. My girlfriends were dropping like flies but the ones that stayed alive hung out with me in the city. We exercised to stay in shape, made passes at guys to get them flustered, and took classes to keep our grey matter churning. But life really jumped for me when Charlie came along in my 78th year. Yeah, he was a good time charlie alright and the best lover ever… Shut your mouth! We do too. More below!
“Old age is far more than white hair, wrinkles, the feeling that it is too late and the game finished, that the stage belongs to the rising generations. The true evil is not the weakening of the body, but the indifference of the soul.” André Maurois
Charlie helped me get my groove back on. Shoot! I started taking yoga, dance and tai chi lessons again to stay strong and keep up with him…. I started writing and publishing books: My first one Sex & the Septuagenarian was a News That’s Fit To Print Bestseller. Ditto my books; Orgasms & the Octogenarian and Naughty Nonagenarian… Others were about life and living but you get the gist. By now you know, I liked my men young(er) and Charlie was fit for his 60 years on God’s earth. He was a retired fireman with the equipment to match… Okay, at 100, I can say some shit… Don’t like it? Wait till you get to my age and then we can quibble… Now shoo! From 78 on, I was renewed and even with my orthopedic shoes, I was stepping out and having a good old time with Charlie. We got married in Vegas too…. by Elvis (a stand in). Eloping wasn’t an option and the kids were proud to join us.
I even bought me some hair so I could swing off the bedpost and play Jane to his Tarzan … Wait,
scratch that racist shit. I was his Diva and he, my Prince… The family genes held steady so I never had some of those aging problems (lucky me). The ones I had I won’t bore you with yet… My mama lived till 98 and daddy till 95; even with the drinking! I got plenty of living and loving in me. I outlived Charlie by five years, but the zest for life and happiness we shared will outlive me… I’m still having fun and I suggest you do too. Young today, old or dead tomorrow! Now get your arse out there and do a happy dance for me! It’s my birthday…
Have an inspired week!
How do you celebrate your birthday and aging? Do you rejoice over the gift of longevity or see it as a curse? Do share! Thank you.
This post was inspired by a prompt from WP Daily Post: Plinky Prompt: Write a letter to your 100 year-old self.
Positive Motivation Tip: You can achieve your goals at any age… Live without shame or fear… let the naysayers eat crow.
- 13 Reasons Why Women are Better Drivers than Men (cheapcarinsurance.net)
- Dear 100-year-old me (karensamenow.wordpress.com)
- Pelosi: Unemployment at 7.8% Shows ‘Good Pace, Going in the Right Direction’ (cnsnews.com)
- Quotes from my diary and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (freedanichols.wordpress.com)
- Elderly allowance extended to over 78 (timesofmalta.com)