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Weekly Writing Challenge: Revelation and Change…

15/11/2012

“Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.” Ambrose Bierce

Weekly Writing Challenge: Revelation and Change…

Is there a sudden event that changed your life forever? When I look back on my life, I can recall events; some small and some large, that shifted my thinking or helped me decide that I had to stick to a plan or perish. We’ve all had them; remember those corners we chose not to turn, the stop light we waited a bit longer at, the places we decided not to visit, or the people who appeared and then vanished? All of them added something to our lives and then we worked hard to justify our role in it and how we chose to remember the details. When I decided to move to the US from the UK, my dad was set against it. “You’re a young female with no one to supervise or guide you. Why America?” He asked.  “Why not America? I’ve never been there and it offers all sorts of educational opportunities…” I muttered. Of course, I “forgot” to mention that love was in the air, but let me not get ahead of myself.

“People need revelation, and then they need resolution.” Damian Lewis

Weekly Writing Challenge: Revelation and Change…

Months later, I arrived at JFK Airport on my way to a new life and the possibility of everlasting love. I had the requisite paperwork for my new school and I was excited about the prospects of starting a new life of love and learning; with great emphasis on the love part. I was young, naive, and probably too excited about my move to another country that I missed the usual cues that come with a relationship built on fantasy and empty promises. My boyfriend was effusive about my relocation; even sharing information on all the wonderful places we’d visit. If I recall, Hollywood was heavily favored on his list… Yeah, that should have been symbolic… the land of dreams. Once I settled into my new place and registered for classes, I went looking for lover-boy. You see, just before I left London, he told me he had some pressing graduate school papers  to write and would be AWOL on my arrival. “Not to worry! Lets connect over the weekend!” He said. Yeah… and Bob’s my uncle. More below!

“An idea, to be suggestive, must come to the individual with the force of revelation.” William James

Weekly Writing Challenge: Revelation and Change…

Over the weekend, I met up with some old friends and went sightseeing. I asked them if they knew lover-boy and one knew of him vaguely. After a few hums and hahs, she mentioned something about him being attached. “Attached to what?” I asked foolishly and she changed the subject.  Back at my place, I went looking for lover-boy.  To cut a long story short, we spoke, we met, and yes, he was attached, in more ways than one. At that moment, I knew we were done. Over. Finished. Also, I knew I had to focus on my studies and move on. Once the semester ended, I changed schools and moved out of state. Relationships are a beautiful thing but they must be based on truth and trust. Don’t prolong it, don’t make excuses… Move on. You’ll be doing each other a big favor.  What are your thoughts? Is there an instant that changed your life forever? Was there a moment when your life was changed in a split second? What do you remember? How did it happen? Do share! Thank you. :-)

*Please bear with me as I catch up on your blogs and commenting… Thank you all for your patience! :-)

This post was inspired by a prompt from WP Daily Post: Weekly Writing Challenge: An instant can change our lives forever
Just as we can suspend a moment in time by snapping a photograph, an instant can change our lives forever. For this week’s writing challenge: tell us about a moment when your life was changed in a split second. The good, the bad, the funny, and the thought-provoking, our lives are composed of a series of meaningful events that help to shape who we are. Every now and then, we get a wake-up call where a snap decision or revelation changes our perspective completely.

Positive Motivation Tip: If we pay attention, life will reveal its warnings and wisdom to us. Be vigilant. Stay blessed.

PHOTO CREDITS/ATTRIBUTIONS: All Photos Poster, Lovers, via Wikipedia, via Flickr or First photo via my personal collection

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

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50 Comments leave one →
  1. 16/11/2012 8:52 am

    Ah, youth! Still, it does seem everything happens for a reason… Thanks for sharing this, Elizabeth!

    • 16/11/2012 9:33 am

      TY and indeed it does… I saved myself from a lifetime of trouble. I suppose. :-)

  2. 16/11/2012 9:01 am

    Love the illustration photo with all the snow!

    • 16/11/2012 9:34 am

      TY CG! The credit goes to my daughter and her phone… :-)

  3. 16/11/2012 10:18 am

    Don’t prolong it,
    don’t make excuses…
    Move on…

    - a good résumé, Eliz,
    to make an end to that friend
    who was not worth
    to be on your side …

    • 16/11/2012 3:50 pm

      TY Frizztext! Perhaps age helped too… as we get older, it gets harder to move on. :-)

  4. 16/11/2012 10:22 am

    Interesting. When people deceive other people like this, they are in the end, only harming themselves. Think of it, you left him, but he had to stay with himself! Who would want to do that? Not me. Not you. Probably not even him!

    • 16/11/2012 3:51 pm

      He didn’t notice… honestly. :lol: TY! Relationships are, how do they say it on Facebook? Complicated. :lol:

  5. Rita Bellinger permalink
    16/11/2012 10:38 am

    Reblogged this on The Wordy Photographer.

  6. 16/11/2012 10:59 am

    Wonderful post!
    There are single events, moments that change us forever, and we realize it at the time. Then there are the events and moments that change us forever, but it is only later that we recognize the importance–and permanence–of what happened.
    You post is a reminder to be aware.

    • 16/11/2012 4:25 pm

      TY and yes, in hindsight it makes sense… At the time it didn’t. I wondered why encourage someone to move across the pond for a lie? :-( All is well now!

  7. 16/11/2012 11:06 am

    Too many moments to count Elizabeth. I think ultimately your experience was meant to get you here. Lucky us!

    I also believe even the negative experiences contribute to the whole of who we are and what we need to learn. I know you do too.
    b

    • 16/11/2012 4:27 pm

      Absolutely! If it hadn’t happened, I’d have never seriously considered studying in the US. I would have happily attended a Brit Univ. TY! :-)

  8. 16/11/2012 11:17 am

    Hi Eliz,
    You’re very fortunate you found out before you tied the knot. Oops, I mean the noose.
    Thanks for sharing your story. I’m sure it resonates with many. :)
    Love the photos!

    • 16/11/2012 4:28 pm

      Thank you Tracy! I bet we’ve all been there or experienced some version of it. :-)

  9. 16/11/2012 11:35 am

    Elizabeth,
    Thank you for this powerful story. All I can say is if this event brought you to America, then us American followers are grateful to this two-timing, brains between his legs, short-sighted, lovely fellow. Interesting how one man was trying to hold on to you while another man was trying to hide from you, yet in the end, you became fiercely independent. Kudos to you.

    • 16/11/2012 4:30 pm

      TY Kozo! You are right, I was being pulled in two directions and needed to so some growing up on my own. I have to say that it has not been easy at all, but it has kept me human… Yeah, got it. Thanks love. ;-)

  10. 16/11/2012 12:59 pm

    Things like that can only happen in our youth. Sometimes I think that leap-don’t-think attitude when we’re young is necessary…otherwise we might never get anywhere challenging or exciting. GREAT story for this week’s writing challenge…your entire life would look different if not for your impulsive move!

    • 16/11/2012 4:32 pm

      Quite true…. I must admit that sometimes I miss that get-up-and-go spirit. I was bolder then too! :lol:

  11. 16/11/2012 3:20 pm

    Not to take pleasure in your heartbreak, but I really enjoyed reading this. Brings back memories. Many memories. I have enough stories that changed, influenced, molded my life, that I could write a book. You’d laugh. You’d cry. I’D CRY! LOL. In the end, it’s all good. :-) Thanks for sharing, Elizabeth.

    • 16/11/2012 4:35 pm

      Oh Gemma! I’m happy you enjoyed it and I’m not heartbroken over it. Actually, I got over it fairly quickly and moved on. My approach was once bitten twice shy… I had an advantage; I could relocate again. :lol:

  12. 16/11/2012 3:37 pm

    Fabulous post Elizabeth. I didn’t know you were from the UK. I sensed a slight accent when we met but couldn’t place it. Now I want to know

    • 16/11/2012 3:38 pm

      Know more! How did you end up in NY and who did you marry? Where did you met? Enquiring minds want to know! :)

    • 16/11/2012 4:37 pm

      TY! We will have to meet again for the rest of my story… and then I’m writing and that would help too. Right? :-)

  13. barb19 permalink
    16/11/2012 7:15 pm

    He was a ratbag, and I can only say I’m glad you found out so quickly – and had the wisdom (being so young), to move on to bigger and better things. Things like that really are character building! They say everything happens for a reason and I’m a great believer in that – look at you now!

    • 18/11/2012 12:01 am

      I believe in the power of the human spirit to regroup and redirect its focus. I moved on and so did he… TY Barb! :-)

  14. 16/11/2012 7:34 pm

    I bet at the time it was absolutely crushing when he turned out to be the wrong guy. It would have been easy to pack up and go home crying but you stuck it out and found your life here after all. Great story.

    • 18/11/2012 12:06 am

      Honestly Miriam, it wasn’t crushing at all. Perhaps it was age or acceptance of my need to focus on my studies… and the fact that I moved thousands of miles meant I was dealing with other adjustment issues and had to refocus. I was disappointed but not crushed. TY! :-)

  15. 16/11/2012 9:27 pm

    You moved to a new country for him, he knew it, and was attached to someone else? Wow! I wonder if you ever heard more about how he ended up. Hopefully he grew up, too! :-) From the pieces of your life that you have shared I think you have amazing resilience, Eliz. oxo

    • 18/11/2012 12:14 am

      TY for bringing this up Debra.. I didn’t give all the details in the post because I wanted to keep it short and just share some of the salient points. Truth is we both grew up. Eventually he moved and raised a family of his own.

  16. 17/11/2012 1:40 am

    You were wise for your years Eliz! And such experiences have only made you wiser and stronger! Thank you for sharing this turning moment in your life.

  17. 17/11/2012 5:30 am

    I had a similar experience about 30 years ago. Quit my job and moved to Australia to be with him. He didn’t meet me at the airport either! And, yes, he was attached as well. This move changed my life though. It was a spiritual turning point for me, as I had to figure out how to survive on my own and I did! I remember it being so difficult at the time, but what I gained from the pain and heartache was more then I would have ever gained had it been different. Living, loving and learning. Gotta love life!
    Great article – thank you for sharing!
    Sue

    • 18/11/2012 12:20 am

      Thank you Sue! Your story brings back memories of that time for me too… I was afraid that if I didn’t move on, I would flounder and not complete my studies. I braced myself for the swift changes I had to make… :-)

  18. 17/11/2012 11:12 am

    Just think, had you not come, you probably would have continued the fantasy relationship.
    I’m sure I have several moments that changed my life but the minute I read your question, mine flew right out of my head!

    • 18/11/2012 12:32 am

      I had to laugh when I read the stories flew out of your head. TY! ;-)

  19. 17/11/2012 11:16 am

    Sorry to learn about the lost love, but it was better to let it go. Hope there were much better things waiting for you later.
    Yes, an event, many years in the making, altered my life forever. Years of working myself to the bone with long hours and not taking care of myself lead to total exhaustion and “crashing” into a brick wall (figuratively) where my body just would not move anymore. Such a horrible feeling. I didn’t realize at the time that it was the unexpected end of a long and good career. My doctor eventually said to make some drastic changes or…..well, the “or” part was hard to hear and think about.

    • 18/11/2012 5:22 am

      I can’t imagine what you went through… mine pales in comparison. as you suggested, it’s better to let go. I did. TY! ;-)

  20. 17/11/2012 6:40 pm

    I had many lost loves, and all before I left school. :D Looking back now, I can’t understand why I felt so bereft after these “silly” infatuations ended. At the time it was earth shattering. Have a great weekend, Elizabeth.

    • 18/11/2012 5:47 am

      I had my share and some were wonderful growth moments and a few were not. We survived for sure. ;-) Happy Weekend!

  21. 18/11/2012 3:07 am

    I am very glad you found out early in the piece, Elizabeth. While sad, I am sure it was a valuable life lesson. I agree – move on, don’t look back.

    I;ve had two experiences in my life where I wish I’d never met the men in question. We live and learn.

    • 18/11/2012 5:49 am

      We live and learn and learn and learn… I’m all the better for it and honestly, he wasn’t the worst thing that happened in my life… TY! ;-)

  22. 19/11/2012 3:14 am

    Moving on definitely is the best choice in many situations.
    But often times, the mind is not clear enough when to move on… what ifs and wishful thinking keeps us hanging by a mere thread hoping that there could be something more…
    anyways, lovely post :)

  23. Allyson Mellone permalink
    19/11/2012 8:40 am

    A beautiful share and, yes, what a heartbreak. I am glad you stuck to a plan and made perish a past. It’s brave to transplant yourself in another country and battle life – I guess taking an unfamiliar journey to find a familiar one?

  24. 19/11/2012 10:36 am

    Everything happens for a reason, indeed!

  25. 02/12/2012 12:24 pm

    Boy!…did you get the responses to this question…
    What comes to my mind is from my husband…
    Being in VietNam for a year…only being married for one
    month…He and I wrote most every day…
    He was going over to the bathroom…one night…
    before he mailed a letter to me…
    when he decided to mail the letter first…
    making sure it would get out the next day…
    As he was heading there… the area where the bathroom was…was hit by shelling from the Viet Cong…and blew up the entire area…
    Thankfully he had made a good decision…heeded his
    feelings to change his mind…and I am thankful every day!

    and was able to write about it the next day…o

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