TED Talk: Michael Norton: How to buy happiness
Robert’s thought for the day: Without acceptance, anger will enrage you. Without acceptance, guilt will shame you. Without acceptance, anxiety will torment you. Without acceptance, sadness will depress you. Without acceptance, loneliness will isolate you. Without acceptance, love cannot love you.
“There comes a time when you have to stand up and shout: This is me damn it! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love! I am a whole complex package. Take me… or leave me. Accept me – or walk away! Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don’t fit your idea of who I should be and don’t try to change me to fit your mold. If I need to change, I alone will make that decision. When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%, good and bad – you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.” Stacey Charter
If you have ever struggled with self-acceptance, you know that it is a state of mind that is in constant flux. One day we are happy and at peace, and then, the next day the anxieties and insecurities surface… I was reading Robert Holden of Shift Happens Daily Inspiration today, and the message he shared was so powerful that I had to post on it. Until we accept ourselves for who and what we are, the healing and happiness that is rightfully ours to enjoy will not flourish. As I looked for ways to write this post, I came across Stacey’s statement; equally powerful.
Part of our struggle with self-acceptance comes from cultural expectations that limit individual movement, behavior and/or definitions of beauty. Why are some of us happier than others? Why is Denmark the happiest country in the world? In the research conducted by WorldValuesSurvey.org, they found that “the extent to which a society allows free choice has a major impact on happiness.” When we are not being judged about our choices, we are more accepting of who we are and our limitations. Where are you on that conversation of self acceptance? Do you see your life as abundant and fulfilling? Oprah offers a tool to help us see where we are. Take the Abundance Test. Try it.
“As you become more clear about who you really are, you’ll be better able to decide what is best for you – the first time around.” Oprah Winfrey
The work ethic conditions you to believe you have to earn happiness. The suffering ethic teaches you that you have to deserve happiness. The martyr ethic insists you have to pay for happiness. The miracle ethic gently reminds you that happiness is free—there are no conditions. Robert Holden
Do you have a martyr ethic? What about a miracle ethic? How does our choice impact our ability to accept ourselves and move our lives forward? When I was preparing this post, I looked in my files and found that I’ve written on this subject before… more than once. Accept Your Own Beauty and Appreciating Our Bodies & Ourselves tackle the subject of how our happiness is tied to our perceptions of ourselves… I come back to it again because I speak to young women and older ones who are torn by their body image and are miserable because of it… Is that what happiness is? Not entirely. However, if we are constantly nitpicking our way through life and at how we look, our happiness quotient is reduced significantly. There is a level of peace that comes with self-acceptance and happiness has a home there too. Here’s another Oprah offering: Take The Happiness Test to find out… More below.
When you try to play the martyr, you lose and so does everyone else. Your giving becomes more and more conditional, full of hidden emotional invoices that must be returned within 28 days, hours, minutes, seconds . . .
The key to unconditional happiness is to let go of the belief that happiness has to be deserved. When you really know this to be true, you will no longer feel guilty about being happy. Robert Holden
What sacrifices are you making in your life and why? When I was growing up, I observed that some of the women in my community spent a lot of time taking care of others, doing all the grunt work, and never taking care of themselves. Of course, everyone spoke highly of these women because they were self-sacrificing, and living up to an imaginary ideal that even they knew they would never fully attain. On the surface, their behavior was admirable. But, on closer examination, it was tragic. They were not happy women. They were not free.
Probably, their happiness quotient was non-existent because they sacrificed everything including themselves; sometimes with tragic consequences. It is one thing to serve and care for others, but it shouldn’t be to the detriment of our own health and mental state. Truth is that if we don’t find time to nurture our spirit, rest, rejuvenate our body and mind, accept ourselves lovingly, then we are serving others with half a tank… We all need to be nourished and refueled… Are you balancing your service to others with service to yourself? Here’s another one from Oprah: Take The Sacrifice Test
When we spend time nurturing ourselves, and freely pursuing our interests while nurturing those around us, our happiness tank is full. First, we must accept that we are okay and what we do is necessary for our survival. What are your thoughts? Have you accepted who you are? Are you happy most of the time? How have you handled your struggles? Do you love who you are as you are? What sacrifices are you making in your life and why? Do share! Thank you.
*Please bear with me as I continue to catch up on your blogs and commenting… Thank you all for your patience!
Positive Motivation Tip: Wherever you are, whatever you do, your happiness begins with accepting you as you…
- The Roles We Play: 2 Ways to Shift Right Now (anitaanswersadvice.wordpress.com)
- Diving into today and living every moment (motivationfromtheheart.com)
- Check it out! The Three Prong Happiness Quotient! (livingaprosperouslife.wordpress.com)
- The Treehouse (scramblerworld.wordpress.com)
- The Art of Acceptance (theholisticdirectory.wordpress.com)
- Every Parent’s Desire (velindapeyton.com)
- 3 Things I Learned in Oprah’s Life Class w/ Deepak Chopra (chicfitchef.com)
- Reflections: Acceptance & Our Happiness Quotient… (eof737.wordpress.com)