On Trust: What We Focus on Becomes Our Reality…

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy.” Walter Anderson

On Trust: What We Focus on Becomes Our Reality... Andy The Turtle speaks.

There is something to be said about wish fulfilling prophesies… You know, the old saying, “what you believe, you become or comes true.” Well, while our thoughts might not necessarily create immediate results, they eventually color both our perception of the world and our place in it. I am not saying that, just like Houdini, our thoughts will make things vanish or appear, or even bring the mega million winnings into our space, but some variation of our expectations becomes our reality. If we can open our minds and recognize that there is the possibility, even a smidgen of hope, that as we learn to trust our own instincts and the goodwill of those we know and love, our worldview will shift for the better. Let me elaborate with a story of three turtles, as shared by one of them – Andy. :-)

The Story of the Three Turtles as narrated by Andy ;-)                           
One day, three turtles named Mick, Andy and Roy decided to go on a picnic.
Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches.
The trouble is that the picnic site is ten miles away and it takes them ten days to get there.  When they get there, Mick unpacks the food and beer and says “OK Roy, give me the bottle opener.”  “I didn’t bring it,” says Roy “I thought you packed it.”

Mick gets worried; he turns to Andy and says, “Did you bring the bottle opener?” Naturally, Andy, who prefers political discourse to food related matters, didn’t bring it. So they’re stuck ten miles from home without a bottle opener.
Mick and Andy beg Roy to go back for it, but he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches.  After two hours, and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he still isn’t back. Mick and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise. Another 5 days go by and he still isn’t back; but a promise is a promise.
Finally, they can’t take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each, and just as they are about to eat it, Roy pops up from behind a rock and shouts: “I KNEW IT… I’M NOT GOING!” Needless to say, they never spoke to Roy again… What would you have done? What trust issues do you have?

“Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.” Anon

On Trust: What We Focus on Becomes Our Reality... Chocolate cake

Jenna is a pretty good cook. She loves to take classic recipes and add a twist to them and make them her own. I guess she learned her skill from the women in her household; particularly her mother. However, one thing she never felt great at was baking. For some reason, after her first chocolate cake disaster, she decided that not only couldn’t she bake but that she didn’t like chocolate  cake anyway. Over the years, she shared this “fact” with everyone and her friends went along with the program. I mean, who would want to argue with a person who is adamant about their pet peeves? Well, Tony did. When he met Jenna and they fell in love, he shared that he loved chocolate care and she shared that she … didn’t. He encouraged her to try again and shared his mother’s chocolate cake recipe that included half a table spoon of coffee. He tried to get her to make one but she was adamant about her position. She hated chocolate cake and on and on…

One day on a whim, Tony promised Jenna that if she would try just once, he would never bring up the subject again. She agreed. Tony helped her make it and it was a mega success. Today, Jenna makes her cakes and eats them. Give in a little and trust that all will work out… and I’m not referring to a Hollywood ending … just a good old reality shift.
What are your thoughts? How do you view the subject of trust? What do you do to sabotage your trust in self and others? Do share. Thank You! :-)

Positive Motivation Tip: Trust is both an act of confidence and a confirmation of lessons learned. Weigh them evenly and know thyself.

PHOTO CREDITS: Photographs of Turtle, and German chocolate cake from Wikipedia.

Until Next Time…
Ask. Believe. Receive. ©
Elizabeth Obih-Frank
Mirth and Motivation
Positive Kismet

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26 responses to “On Trust: What We Focus on Becomes Our Reality…

  1. Trust is a huge issue in every aspect of my life. Most notably, in finding treatments for my son’s disability that are worth the risk and may help him. I have to trust others to be honest in efforts to help me find a way to help my son reach his potential.

    Beyond that issue, I’m a lawyer. We have to earn trust. How? By honesty. By making representations that we can back with evidence. Juries are funny things. They have preconceived notions, like Jenna with her chocolate cake. In order to break down these preconceived notions, lawyers – to win cases- must be trusted. No one trusts us so it is even more important that we are honest as we present a case. Eventually, the jury will see where the truth lies and rule accordingly.

    The three turtles story is hilarious – (I believe those are my husband and his brothers!- Lol!)

    • Oh, I had a good laugh over the turtles being your hubby and his brothers… Thnak you Karen for your take on the topic. Trust is a difficult word for some but I agree that we all want to be able to trust that others have our best interests at heart… Never easy! :-)

  2. What We Focus on Becomes Our Reality… – we put our focus on daily writing and stabilizing motivation (and identity): and thank you, Eliz, that you noticed, that I didn’t write the last two days. Hey, that’s friendship. But no worry, I’m not ill: We took a trip to the ocean to focus on the term “Weltbürger” = Cosmopolite. Made some photos, had the feelings, still searching for words – like a turtle …

    • Well, I’m glad to read that you are doing well… See, you are appreciated and I notice when you are AWOL. I hope to see photos of your trip when you have time. :-)

  3. Pingback: Cosmopolite Feeling « Flickr Comments

  4. So inspiring! ^-^ Thank You!

  5. Brilliant story!

  6. A good lesson in trust!

  7. Great post Elizabeth! I loved the turtle story. Because that is really how it is. We create our own reality, so if we fear something intensely and are sure it will happen. Sooner or later it probably will… But the great part is that it works the same way with dreams and positive things in life! Something I have started to trust in more completely lately. And it sure makes life so much more fun to live! :-)

    • I agree with you and your post on inner peace speaks volumes about this subject. We seek what we think we know and then with some reflection and effort, we learn new lessons; lessons that will free us form our mindset. :-)
      Thank you!
      Eliz

  8. thank you, Eliz, for inspiring my writing turtle to do the daily job:

  9. Trust is a huge factor in relationships, this can make or brake the efforts for establishing a foundation for a solid relationship. I love Jenna’s chocolate cake, it looks so delicious. I enjoyed the story about the three turtles. There are times we do have to fall back on promises, its not always possible when certain factors take place beyond our contol preventing one from keeping a promise. That is when knowing a person falls into place. You know without a doubt, that person would have kept his/her promise if it were possible. Great post !

  10. I learned early in life that people have to earn trust. If you trust someone and they break that trust it is their responsibility to earn it back. That’s how I look at it. I think trust is the basis of every relationship.
    Good post!
    b

  11. Trust is something that runs deep, sometimes in union and in other times in conflict. It has the tendency to merge itself with various ambiguities and emotions such as need, insecurity, jealous, envy, hope, desire and love. In the end, whether one is the betrayer of that trust or the one betrayed it hurts very deeply.

  12. Loved the turtle story . . . I did NOT see that coming. :D

    BTW: I’m with the “old Jenna” ~ baking holds no appeal for me . . . and I don’t much care for chocolate cake. Our solution: BFF bakes himself a chocolate cake whenever he’s in the mood for one.

  13. The turtle story cracked me up. haha. In my life, I’ve learned to depend upon the kindness of strangers. I think I trust strangers more than I trust someone whom I have been with all my life. Sometimes you have to live without expectations. I’ve learned that from a lot of disappointments.
    It’s still great to trust someone wholeheartedly. Thanks for sharing.

  14. Up until several years ago, I struggled with trusting in myself and my abilities. Trust is something that has been hard for me in my life, stemming from abuse in childhood, but as more and more healing has taken place, the more I’ve learned how to trust again.

  15. Sweet…this goes along with what we tell our kids: “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”
    blessings, and may we ever set our gaze on all that is good…our thoughts on good things…
    hey, wait, isn’t there a Bible verse for that?
    Philippians 4:8
    Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
    :)
    jane

  16. Very inspiring post Eliz! Trust has always been an important factor in going about your day-t0-day life. Just recently, I’ve more than less questioned the choices I have made in life, in work, and witnessed as well these past few days how fragile trust is.

    I can resonate as well on “Follow your heart, but be quiet for a while first. Ask questions, then feel the answer. Learn to trust your heart.” Being new to the company I’m working at, I’m in a vulnerable position and I need to trust my older officemates to teach me and orient me properly. I feel humbled as well that they would trust me on my inputs.

    Belated Happy Mother’s Day by the way!

  17. I had to think about this for a while before I wrote a comment. You see, I think my husband and I are a glowing example of your opening quotation. After all, we’ve had every man and his dog (on both his side and mine) question why we trust each other and we were both certainly vulnerable if our trust was misplaced. Yet we trusted and have great love and joy as a result. Yet the very people others would have expected us to trust without question let us down.

    Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and trust “outside the square”.

  18. Without trust there isn’t love or friendship. I would have trusted my friends to abide by their words as I would do the same. Friendship and trust goes both ways.

  19. Trust is important to any relationship. We all know this, or at least, most of us do. At the same time, given what we know of the world and how untrustworthy people can be, it’s hard to completely trust others. But it’s one of the things that can make or break relationships.

    I like the story of the three turtles, and I did not see that ending coming! :)

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